Another ethics complaint has been filed against Alaska governor Sarah Pain, bringing the total to 18. She needs just two more punches in her ethics complaints card and she’ll get one free hour of bathroom remodeling from Joe the Plumber.
Republican Senator Tom Coburn sounded like he was channeling Ricky Ricardo when he said to Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor “You'll have a lot of 'splainin' to do.” Republicans accused the Democrats of channeling Lucy and slipping him some Vita-Meata-Vegamin.
Robert Redford married his German girlfriend Sibylle Szaggars at a church in Hamburg. You could tell the Sundance Kid wrote the vows because his answer to the question of whether he would love, honor and obey his new wife was, “The fall will probably kill me.”:
A New Hampshire man using his debit card at a gas station to buy a pack of cigarettes was charged over 23 quadrillion dollars. The man got a call from Visa letting him know it was a mistake and then one from California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger asking how he got his limit up so high.
The 2009 Corvair Society of America Convention was held this week in Jacksonville, Florida, to celebrate the car Ralph Nader called “unsafe at any speed.” The high point was the annual burning of Nader in effigy by placing a straw dummy of him behind a Corvair and turning the ignition.
The new “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” movie got a great review in the Vatican's newspaper. Pope Benedict is so excited about seeing it, he blessed a gallon of holy water to wash down his bucket of buttered popcorn.
The Ukrainian Culture and Tourism Ministry banned Sacha Baron Cohen's movie “Bruno” because it felt the film could harm public morals. The Ukrainian commission of experts came to this conclusion after finding out that’s not a chicken Kiev Bruno has in his pants.
A woman witnessing a bank robbery in New York gave a play-by-play account of it on Twitter. If you’re ever in the same situation, police say a better choice is to post messages to your friends on Safebook.com.
Microsoft founder Bill Gates and some co-inventors have patents pending on sea-based “tubs” that can possibly reduce the power of hurricanes. The U.S. Patent Office is a little suspicious because Gates says the tubs must be made from iPhones and iMacs.
The Winn-Dixie grocery chain has remodeled and upgraded 51 of its stores in the North Florida and South Georgia area. Now they’re considering making the stores more appealing to people with low self-esteem by changing the name to Winn-Winn-Dixie.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Which one would conquer more Martians
Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor survived her first day of questioning without too much trouble. The biggest problem was when a female protester started yelling at Sotomayor and before she could be removed, three Republican senators asked her for a date.
It seemed like every Republican senator questioning Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor compared judges to baseball umpires. You could tell it was getting to her. During the break, she asked for some peanuts and Cracker Jack.
Sacha Baron Cohen's raunchy new comedy “Bruno” had to be edited so it teens between the ages of 15 and 18 in England could see it. The British version is so short, it’s being shown with the trailer as a double-feature.
Even though he had an affair and his parents paid off his mistress’ family, Republican Sen. John Ensign of Nevada says he plans to seek reelection when his term is up in 2012. If Ensign doesn’t resign, he ought to at least be demoted to Senator Midshipman.
At the recent Young Republicans convention, Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele said he plans to attract African-Americans to the party by offering “fried chicken and potato salad.” If Martin Luther King Jr. were alive today, he’d be working on his “I have to scream” speech.
President Obama’s favorite teleprompter fell over and broke apart during his recent speech about the economic stimulus package. The teleprompter was broken beyond repair, giving the president two reasons to be speechless.
NASA is offering college students a chance test experiments in microgravity aboard its “Weightless Wonder” airplane. So far, most of the applicants are frat boys who want to try drinking beer with no hands.
According to newly-released documents, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford's staff frantically tried to contact him 15 times while he was in Argentina with his mistress. They left messages on his cell phone, sent him emails and hired a blimp to fly over the Appalachian Trail flashing “Mark – phone home!”
Four Russians, a Frenchman and a German ended 105 days in isolation in Moscow on to simulate conditions on a manned mission to Mars. As expected, the Russians built a still to convert urine into vodka while the Frenchman and the German fought over which one would conquer more Martians.
According to a new study, cats have different purrs to signify when they’re happy and when they’re hungry. You can recognize the hungry purr because cats do it while scratching the word “tuna” on your leg.
It seemed like every Republican senator questioning Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor compared judges to baseball umpires. You could tell it was getting to her. During the break, she asked for some peanuts and Cracker Jack.
Sacha Baron Cohen's raunchy new comedy “Bruno” had to be edited so it teens between the ages of 15 and 18 in England could see it. The British version is so short, it’s being shown with the trailer as a double-feature.
Even though he had an affair and his parents paid off his mistress’ family, Republican Sen. John Ensign of Nevada says he plans to seek reelection when his term is up in 2012. If Ensign doesn’t resign, he ought to at least be demoted to Senator Midshipman.
At the recent Young Republicans convention, Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele said he plans to attract African-Americans to the party by offering “fried chicken and potato salad.” If Martin Luther King Jr. were alive today, he’d be working on his “I have to scream” speech.
President Obama’s favorite teleprompter fell over and broke apart during his recent speech about the economic stimulus package. The teleprompter was broken beyond repair, giving the president two reasons to be speechless.
NASA is offering college students a chance test experiments in microgravity aboard its “Weightless Wonder” airplane. So far, most of the applicants are frat boys who want to try drinking beer with no hands.
According to newly-released documents, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford's staff frantically tried to contact him 15 times while he was in Argentina with his mistress. They left messages on his cell phone, sent him emails and hired a blimp to fly over the Appalachian Trail flashing “Mark – phone home!”
Four Russians, a Frenchman and a German ended 105 days in isolation in Moscow on to simulate conditions on a manned mission to Mars. As expected, the Russians built a still to convert urine into vodka while the Frenchman and the German fought over which one would conquer more Martians.
According to a new study, cats have different purrs to signify when they’re happy and when they’re hungry. You can recognize the hungry purr because cats do it while scratching the word “tuna” on your leg.
Monday, July 13, 2009
The Fresh Prince of Beijing
According to her friends, Alaska governor Sarah Palin resigned because she’s been losing weight and her hair is falling out. Poor Sarah wants to run for president but she doesn’t want to do it looking like John McCain.
American Idol host Ryan Seacrest signed a 3-year, $45million deal to stay with the show. That breaks down to $15 million a year or 15 bucks for every time insults him.
Former Vice President Dick Cheney’s daughter Liz says she’s thinking about running for office. She won’t say which one, but her dad told her to make sure it has secret powers, an undisclosed hideout and an unlimited supply of water.
In her latest interview, Sarah Palin says shell campaign for Republicans, independents and even Democrats who share her values. So far, no Democratic candidates have asked for her help, but a few have called to see if she has Tina Fey’s number.
“Survivor” winner Richard Hatch, who's currently in home confinement for tax evasion, wants a judge to let him out early so he can be on the 10th anniversary edition of the show in Samoa next month. Why not just send a stand-in? Hatch spent so much time on the show naked and pixelized, nobody remembers what he looked like anyway.
Former Led Zeppelin lead singer Robert Plant was made a commander of the British Empire in London by Prince Edward. In a major faux pas, Plant left before the queen showed up to her do karaoke rendition of “Stairway to Heaven.”
News about the British royal family is now available via the new @BritishMonarchy Twitter account. The queen hasn’t Tweeted yet, but Prince Charles has already calculated how many characters he needs to tell Camilla he wants to live in her trousers.
Jackie Chan will play the wise kung-fu master and Jaden Smith, son of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith, will star in a remake of “The Karate Kid” called “The Kung Fu Kid.” That wasn’t the original title, but Jackie Chan refused to be in a movie called “The Fresh Prince of Beijing.”
Jill Biden, wife of Vice President Joe Biden, is recovering after having surgery to relieve her shoulder pain. She was given a local anesthetic … Joe stood next to her bed and gave a speech until she blacked out.
Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo broke up with his girlfriend Jessica Simpson the night before her 29th birthday, forcing her to cancel her Barbie-themed birthday party. Jessica pitched everything but the Ken dolls, which she dressed in little Cowboys’ jerseys and bit their heads off.
American Idol host Ryan Seacrest signed a 3-year, $45million deal to stay with the show. That breaks down to $15 million a year or 15 bucks for every time insults him.
Former Vice President Dick Cheney’s daughter Liz says she’s thinking about running for office. She won’t say which one, but her dad told her to make sure it has secret powers, an undisclosed hideout and an unlimited supply of water.
In her latest interview, Sarah Palin says shell campaign for Republicans, independents and even Democrats who share her values. So far, no Democratic candidates have asked for her help, but a few have called to see if she has Tina Fey’s number.
“Survivor” winner Richard Hatch, who's currently in home confinement for tax evasion, wants a judge to let him out early so he can be on the 10th anniversary edition of the show in Samoa next month. Why not just send a stand-in? Hatch spent so much time on the show naked and pixelized, nobody remembers what he looked like anyway.
Former Led Zeppelin lead singer Robert Plant was made a commander of the British Empire in London by Prince Edward. In a major faux pas, Plant left before the queen showed up to her do karaoke rendition of “Stairway to Heaven.”
News about the British royal family is now available via the new @BritishMonarchy Twitter account. The queen hasn’t Tweeted yet, but Prince Charles has already calculated how many characters he needs to tell Camilla he wants to live in her trousers.
Jackie Chan will play the wise kung-fu master and Jaden Smith, son of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith, will star in a remake of “The Karate Kid” called “The Kung Fu Kid.” That wasn’t the original title, but Jackie Chan refused to be in a movie called “The Fresh Prince of Beijing.”
Jill Biden, wife of Vice President Joe Biden, is recovering after having surgery to relieve her shoulder pain. She was given a local anesthetic … Joe stood next to her bed and gave a speech until she blacked out.
Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo broke up with his girlfriend Jessica Simpson the night before her 29th birthday, forcing her to cancel her Barbie-themed birthday party. Jessica pitched everything but the Ken dolls, which she dressed in little Cowboys’ jerseys and bit their heads off.
Friday, July 10, 2009
That’s Mo Raven
After their first meeting in the Vatican, Pope Benedict gave President Obama a booklet on bio-ethics. In keeping with his practice of giving world leaders CDs and DVDs, Obama gave Benedict a copy of “Benny and the Jets.”
According to a new survey, most Americans value science, but they pick and choose which scientific findings they agree with. For example, while more and more Americans question evolution and global warming, virtually all believe you can create a volcano with Diet Coke and Mentos.
A 20-year study found that rhesus monkeys on a strict reduced-calorie were three times less likely to die from age-related diseases like heart disease, cancer and diabetes. The study also found that skinny old rhesus monkeys will hold researchers hostage for a banana.
Levi Johnston, the former fiance of Gov. Sarah Palin's 18-year-old daughter, says Palin is resigning as governor because she can make more money writing books and doing TV shows. Levi is the perfect example of why people move to Alaska … the Land of the Midnight Sun makes your 15 minutes of fame stretch out forever.
For her meeting with Pope Benedict, First Lady Michelle Obama wore a black dress and a long black veil. The Obamas aren’t Catholic, but this was Michelle’s way of letting the pope know who’s the Mother Superior at the White House.
Senator Roland Burris, who was appointed to President Obama’s Senate seat by disgraced Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, announced he won’t run in 2010. In a comment from Alaska, Sarah Palin said, “You go Ro!”
A TV commercial for Mighty Tape starring the late pitchman Billy Mays will start airing on July 20 because owners of the company say it’s what Billy would have wanted. Except for the part about how Miracle Tape works great fixing frayed defibrillator cables.
Film star Jim Carrey has confirmed his 21-year-old daughter Jane Carrey is pregnant with her first child. Jane says Grandpa Jim will be allowed to play with the baby provided he promises not to teach it to say, “All righty then!”
Raven-Symone's publicist says Internet reports claiming the star of “That’s So Raven” is pregnant or recently gave birth to a daughter are not true. However, if she starts developing a bump, the producers plan to change the name of the show to “That’s Mo Raven.”
A new book claims that author Ernest Hemingway was a spy for the KGB during the 1940s. Hemingway quit when the Russians wanted him to replace the marlin in “The Old Man and the Sea” with a sturgeon.
The 7-Eleven convenience store chain has named Winnipeg, Manitoba, the Slurpee Capital of the World for the 10th consecutive year. The highest ranking U.S. was third-place Detroit, where a Slurpee is more commonly referred to as “dinner.”
According to a new survey, most Americans value science, but they pick and choose which scientific findings they agree with. For example, while more and more Americans question evolution and global warming, virtually all believe you can create a volcano with Diet Coke and Mentos.
A 20-year study found that rhesus monkeys on a strict reduced-calorie were three times less likely to die from age-related diseases like heart disease, cancer and diabetes. The study also found that skinny old rhesus monkeys will hold researchers hostage for a banana.
Levi Johnston, the former fiance of Gov. Sarah Palin's 18-year-old daughter, says Palin is resigning as governor because she can make more money writing books and doing TV shows. Levi is the perfect example of why people move to Alaska … the Land of the Midnight Sun makes your 15 minutes of fame stretch out forever.
For her meeting with Pope Benedict, First Lady Michelle Obama wore a black dress and a long black veil. The Obamas aren’t Catholic, but this was Michelle’s way of letting the pope know who’s the Mother Superior at the White House.
Senator Roland Burris, who was appointed to President Obama’s Senate seat by disgraced Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, announced he won’t run in 2010. In a comment from Alaska, Sarah Palin said, “You go Ro!”
A TV commercial for Mighty Tape starring the late pitchman Billy Mays will start airing on July 20 because owners of the company say it’s what Billy would have wanted. Except for the part about how Miracle Tape works great fixing frayed defibrillator cables.
Film star Jim Carrey has confirmed his 21-year-old daughter Jane Carrey is pregnant with her first child. Jane says Grandpa Jim will be allowed to play with the baby provided he promises not to teach it to say, “All righty then!”
Raven-Symone's publicist says Internet reports claiming the star of “That’s So Raven” is pregnant or recently gave birth to a daughter are not true. However, if she starts developing a bump, the producers plan to change the name of the show to “That’s Mo Raven.”
A new book claims that author Ernest Hemingway was a spy for the KGB during the 1940s. Hemingway quit when the Russians wanted him to replace the marlin in “The Old Man and the Sea” with a sturgeon.
The 7-Eleven convenience store chain has named Winnipeg, Manitoba, the Slurpee Capital of the World for the 10th consecutive year. The highest ranking U.S. was third-place Detroit, where a Slurpee is more commonly referred to as “dinner.”
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Shoot a friend in the face while cross-dressing
When asked about her political future, Sarah Palin said, “If I die, I die. So be it.” Coincidentally, she said the same thing about what she’ll do when she finds her first gray hair.
A New Zealand Internet auction site pulled two postings by a teenager who was trying to sell nude pictures of his mother. There’s actually a site specifically designed just for selling nude pictures of your mother. It’s call ewwwBay.
Microsoft is warning about a serious computer security vulnerability in Internet Explorer that can allow hackers to remotely take control of a Windows PC. Bill Gates is trying to fix the problem before Steve Jobs hires the hackers.
Russia's first lady Svetlana Medvedev took Michelle Obama and her two daughters on a tour of the Kremlin. After viewing the well-preserved body of former leader Vladimr Lenin, Michelle told Svetlana she’d return the favor when she comes to the U.S. by taking her to see Dick Cheney.
Before announcing she was quitting as Alaska’s governor, Sarah Palin called former Vice President Dick Cheney and former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani. Based on their advice, she plans to shoot a friend in the face while cross-dressing.
J.Crew is using Sasha and Malia Obama to market some of its spring and summer styles. This is quite a change from the Bush twins, who were never used to market their favorite products in spite of often being seen with J. Daniels.
President Barack Obama met for the first time with Russia’s Prime Minister Vladimir Putin and it was much different than President George W. Bush’s first meeting with him. For one thing, Obama looked Putin in the eye and all he saw was a contact lens and some vodka redness.
President Obama is depicted in a cartoon on the cover of National Review as a proctologist putting on a latex glove. This is either a commentary on his health care plan or a revelation on how he scores on much taller guys while playing basketball.
Joyce DeWitt, the actress who played Janet Wood on the hit television series “Three's Company,” was arrested in Southern California and cited for drunken driving. The cops knew she was drunk when she was given one phone call and she asked if anybody had Mr. Roper’s number.
Zookeepers at the Edinburgh Zoo in Scotland recaptured a gang of monkeys that ran away during a transfer from one habitat to another. Loose monkeys are feared in Scotland since they like bananas and many male zoo visitors wear kilts.
The inventor of the Rubik's Cube has unveiled a new puzzle called The 360 which involves getting six colored balls from an inner sphere into matching slots on an outer sphere by moving them through a middle sphere with just two holes. Because it can keep people occupied for days, the Republican Party ordered the first two and sent them to Sarah Palin and Mark Sanford.
After 39 years, 77-year-old DJ Casey Kasem has done his final “American Top 20” countdown. He plans to spend his retirement learning to count past 20.
A New Zealand Internet auction site pulled two postings by a teenager who was trying to sell nude pictures of his mother. There’s actually a site specifically designed just for selling nude pictures of your mother. It’s call ewwwBay.
Microsoft is warning about a serious computer security vulnerability in Internet Explorer that can allow hackers to remotely take control of a Windows PC. Bill Gates is trying to fix the problem before Steve Jobs hires the hackers.
Russia's first lady Svetlana Medvedev took Michelle Obama and her two daughters on a tour of the Kremlin. After viewing the well-preserved body of former leader Vladimr Lenin, Michelle told Svetlana she’d return the favor when she comes to the U.S. by taking her to see Dick Cheney.
Before announcing she was quitting as Alaska’s governor, Sarah Palin called former Vice President Dick Cheney and former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani. Based on their advice, she plans to shoot a friend in the face while cross-dressing.
J.Crew is using Sasha and Malia Obama to market some of its spring and summer styles. This is quite a change from the Bush twins, who were never used to market their favorite products in spite of often being seen with J. Daniels.
President Barack Obama met for the first time with Russia’s Prime Minister Vladimir Putin and it was much different than President George W. Bush’s first meeting with him. For one thing, Obama looked Putin in the eye and all he saw was a contact lens and some vodka redness.
President Obama is depicted in a cartoon on the cover of National Review as a proctologist putting on a latex glove. This is either a commentary on his health care plan or a revelation on how he scores on much taller guys while playing basketball.
Joyce DeWitt, the actress who played Janet Wood on the hit television series “Three's Company,” was arrested in Southern California and cited for drunken driving. The cops knew she was drunk when she was given one phone call and she asked if anybody had Mr. Roper’s number.
Zookeepers at the Edinburgh Zoo in Scotland recaptured a gang of monkeys that ran away during a transfer from one habitat to another. Loose monkeys are feared in Scotland since they like bananas and many male zoo visitors wear kilts.
The inventor of the Rubik's Cube has unveiled a new puzzle called The 360 which involves getting six colored balls from an inner sphere into matching slots on an outer sphere by moving them through a middle sphere with just two holes. Because it can keep people occupied for days, the Republican Party ordered the first two and sent them to Sarah Palin and Mark Sanford.
After 39 years, 77-year-old DJ Casey Kasem has done his final “American Top 20” countdown. He plans to spend his retirement learning to count past 20.
Monday, July 6, 2009
A second use for barstools with seatbelts
A 54-year-old carpenter in Wantage, England, accidentally cut off his own penis while working with a saw, but luckily doctors were able to reattach it. His story is being made into a movie called the Testicle Chainsaw Massacre.
The science-fiction network SCI FI is changing its name to Syfy. SCI FI Is expected to become the new name of the Fox News Channel.
According to a new study, drinking five cups of coffee a day reversed memory problems in mice suffering from Alzheimer's disease. The mice’s favorite brand was Chock Full o’Whats?
The group Little People of America has asked the FCC to ban the use of the word "midget" on broadcast TV after contestants on “Celebrity Apprentice” created a detergent ad called “Jesse James and the Midgets.” The protest has the support of other groups such as Snow White Was A Bigot and Munchkins Cannot Live On Lollipops Alone.
Former Washington Mayor Marion Barry was arrested in and charged with stalking a woman. Barry blamed the woman for walking around town with a hole in the pocket she carried her crack in.
The oldest known bible in the world, the Codex Sinaiticus, written in Greek in the fourth century, is now available online. You can tell it’s Greek because of the story about how Jesus fed the multitudes with five gyro sandwiches.
The low-cost Irish airline Ryanair is trying to get permissions to sell standing room tickets on flights where passengers sit on tall chairs that look like barstools with seatbelts. Leave it to the Irish to find a second use for barstools with seatbelts.
A Scottish man set himself on fire and ran 259 feet, breaking the world's record for running while on fire. If he works on his speed, he could become the first Olympic 100-meter sprinter to also be the Olympic torch.
A new rollercoaster in North Yorkshire, England, has a 112-degree drop that has been confirmed as the world's steepest. The ride makes you feel like a jet pilot, especially if you get drunk and fondle a flight attendant before boarding.
The latest TV show to be made into a movie is 1980s cop series "T.J. Hooker" which starred William Shatner and Heather Locklear. Shatner wants to reprise his role but no American auto companies make cop cars with tilt-away steering wheels.
The economy has forced Vatican Radio to air advertisements for the first time in its nearly 80 year history. The ad agency must be from AM radio because the ads are for tickets to see the pope say mass on “Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!”
The science-fiction network SCI FI is changing its name to Syfy. SCI FI Is expected to become the new name of the Fox News Channel.
According to a new study, drinking five cups of coffee a day reversed memory problems in mice suffering from Alzheimer's disease. The mice’s favorite brand was Chock Full o’Whats?
The group Little People of America has asked the FCC to ban the use of the word "midget" on broadcast TV after contestants on “Celebrity Apprentice” created a detergent ad called “Jesse James and the Midgets.” The protest has the support of other groups such as Snow White Was A Bigot and Munchkins Cannot Live On Lollipops Alone.
Former Washington Mayor Marion Barry was arrested in and charged with stalking a woman. Barry blamed the woman for walking around town with a hole in the pocket she carried her crack in.
The oldest known bible in the world, the Codex Sinaiticus, written in Greek in the fourth century, is now available online. You can tell it’s Greek because of the story about how Jesus fed the multitudes with five gyro sandwiches.
The low-cost Irish airline Ryanair is trying to get permissions to sell standing room tickets on flights where passengers sit on tall chairs that look like barstools with seatbelts. Leave it to the Irish to find a second use for barstools with seatbelts.
A Scottish man set himself on fire and ran 259 feet, breaking the world's record for running while on fire. If he works on his speed, he could become the first Olympic 100-meter sprinter to also be the Olympic torch.
A new rollercoaster in North Yorkshire, England, has a 112-degree drop that has been confirmed as the world's steepest. The ride makes you feel like a jet pilot, especially if you get drunk and fondle a flight attendant before boarding.
The latest TV show to be made into a movie is 1980s cop series "T.J. Hooker" which starred William Shatner and Heather Locklear. Shatner wants to reprise his role but no American auto companies make cop cars with tilt-away steering wheels.
The economy has forced Vatican Radio to air advertisements for the first time in its nearly 80 year history. The ad agency must be from AM radio because the ads are for tickets to see the pope say mass on “Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!”
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
A new whiskey-filled device called the ryePhone
Dunkin' Donuts temporarily stopped selling hot chocolate and Dunkaccino brand beverages after learning equipment used at a supplier's facility might have been contaminated with salmonella. I know salmonella can be bad, but don’t a lot of Dunkin’ Donut customers look like they could use a good puke?
A number of South Carolina sate senators are calling for the resignation of Governor Mark Sanford. Second choice is to have his head wrapped in duct tape until his term is over.
The Arizona Senate has given final approval to a bill that would allow people with concealed weapons permits to carry a gun into places that serve alcohol. Bars are already putting up signs cautioning patrons to ask for a Coors Light, not a Silver Bullet.
In an interview in a magazine for runners, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin says she'd beat President Barack Obama in a long run because he still smokes. She could guarantee a win in that race if she gave the starter’s pistol to Dick Cheney.
Michael Jackson's will has been filed in a Los Angeles court and it provides nothing for his former wife Debbie Rowe. Her name was listed in the section of Michael’s will entitled “Beat It.”
A number of Russians say they didn’t know President Obama is visiting their country next week. The Russian media is so tightly controlled by the government, it’s still talking about Michael Jackson possibly adding Moscow to his upcoming concert tour.
This year marks the 30th anniversary of the Sony Walkman. If you don’t know what that is, look for an older person on a bus listening to something twice as big as the box your iPod came in.
Thousands of casinos shut down across Russia this week under new restrictions that only allow gambling in Siberia. Most Russian gamblers say they don’t mind going to Siberia, especially the ones that have been to Atlantic City.
According to a new survey, most Americans would rather give up alcohol for a week than give up their cell phone. To capitalize on this, Apple is working on a new whiskey-filled device called the ryePhone.
A patent attorney say Michael Jackson held a patent for special shoes he used while performing his 1988 song "Smooth Criminal" that allowed him to lean over so far that he appeared to defy gravity. The shoes are popular at the Oscars with celebrities who drink too much before going up to give out an award.
Michael Jackson albums took the top nine spots on Billboard magazine's Top Pop Catalog Albums chart for the week ending June 28. As a result, a number of bands who haven’t been on the charts in a while are weighing the costs of bumping off a bass player.
A number of South Carolina sate senators are calling for the resignation of Governor Mark Sanford. Second choice is to have his head wrapped in duct tape until his term is over.
The Arizona Senate has given final approval to a bill that would allow people with concealed weapons permits to carry a gun into places that serve alcohol. Bars are already putting up signs cautioning patrons to ask for a Coors Light, not a Silver Bullet.
In an interview in a magazine for runners, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin says she'd beat President Barack Obama in a long run because he still smokes. She could guarantee a win in that race if she gave the starter’s pistol to Dick Cheney.
Michael Jackson's will has been filed in a Los Angeles court and it provides nothing for his former wife Debbie Rowe. Her name was listed in the section of Michael’s will entitled “Beat It.”
A number of Russians say they didn’t know President Obama is visiting their country next week. The Russian media is so tightly controlled by the government, it’s still talking about Michael Jackson possibly adding Moscow to his upcoming concert tour.
This year marks the 30th anniversary of the Sony Walkman. If you don’t know what that is, look for an older person on a bus listening to something twice as big as the box your iPod came in.
Thousands of casinos shut down across Russia this week under new restrictions that only allow gambling in Siberia. Most Russian gamblers say they don’t mind going to Siberia, especially the ones that have been to Atlantic City.
According to a new survey, most Americans would rather give up alcohol for a week than give up their cell phone. To capitalize on this, Apple is working on a new whiskey-filled device called the ryePhone.
A patent attorney say Michael Jackson held a patent for special shoes he used while performing his 1988 song "Smooth Criminal" that allowed him to lean over so far that he appeared to defy gravity. The shoes are popular at the Oscars with celebrities who drink too much before going up to give out an award.
Michael Jackson albums took the top nine spots on Billboard magazine's Top Pop Catalog Albums chart for the week ending June 28. As a result, a number of bands who haven’t been on the charts in a while are weighing the costs of bumping off a bass player.
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