Customers in China of Apple's iTunes online music store were unable to download songs this week, possibly because Beijing was trying to block access to a new Tibet-themed album. Kind of a tit-for-tat thing … the Chinese government claims some of the artists were under 14.
Scientists say that global warming is the cause of a giant crack in the ice in northern Greenland and an 11-square-mile chunk of ice that broke off of a glacier. Things are getting so warm in Greenland, its Olympic water polo team was once its ice hockey team.
Sheriffs in Bay County, Florida, were forced to use a Taser to subdue an escaped emu. They knew they had tasered the emu enough when it started to smell like chicken.
Two of John McCain's presidential campaign offices were evacuated after a threatening letter arrived in the mail containing an unidentified white powder. McCain didn’t want to call the cops at first because he thought it was his monthly delivery of Gold Bond.
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Polish Foreign Minister Radoslaw Sikorski celebrated the signing of a missile shield deal with wine from the ex-Soviet republic of Georgia. They offered her Polish vodka but the last time Condi drank Polish vodka she hit on Lech Walesa.
A fisherman in North Carolina caught a state record 21-pound channel catfish on a Barbie rod and reel his granddaughter asked him to hold for her while she went to the bathroom. That’s the biggest fish reeled in by a Barbie pole since Ken fell for the limited-edition Stripper Barbie.
At the New Jersey Pest Management Association's annual clinic and trade show, a giant Madagascar hissing cockroach named John McCain outraced one named Barack Obama. Just like the candidate it was named after, the McCain roach couldn’t remember how many roach motels he owned.
The Food and Drug Administration has approved the use of ionizing radiation to kill harmful bacteria on fresh spinach and lettuce. Cans of spinach will now come with a label explaining to kids that Popeye lost his eye in a sailing accident, not from eating irradiated spinach.
Oracle Corp. founder Larry Ellison is the top-paid chief executive in the United States, with a 2008 salary package of $84.6 million. Even so, John McCain said he’d have to see how many houses Ellison owned before determining if he would consider him rich.
Chicago police say the heart bypass surgery a local man underwent last year was charged to his friend after the patient stole his identity. They can’t recover the stolen goods, so prosecutors are hoping to convince the judge to sentence the thief to run on a treadmill until he has another heart attack.
Police in Hio, Sweden, say a man apparently received serious stab wounds while playing a game with another man that involved pressing potato peelers against each others stomachs. Luckily the emergency room bill was covered by his insurance company, Mutual of Idaho.