Monday, August 30, 2010

Feed-your-head cheese

A failed bank in Georgia that is a 13,000-foot replica of the White House is being sold by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation. The design was inspired by the real White House except for the drive-through deposit window, which was inspired by White House lobbyists.

The Washington Shakespeare Company in Arlington, Virginia, performs selections from Shakespeare’s “Hamlet” and “Much Ado About Nothing” in Klingon. For true Shakespeare fans who don’t want their friends to know they’re also Trekkies, the theater has a special section with a cloaking device.

Indonesia's volcanic Mount Sinabung, which has been dormant for four centuries, erupted for a second day in a row this week. According to Pat Robertson, this is God’s way of punishing Indonesia for sending us Barack Obama.

A toilet reportedly used by former Beatle John Lennon sold for $18,341 at a Beatles convention in Liverpool. John allegedly blocked the commode while composing an early version of “Eight Days A Week” called “Eight Days Of Wheat.”

Police in Massachusetts arrested a man who received a hollowed-out bologna in the mail that contained $100,000 worth of cocaine. He was also expecting a shipment of LSD in a loaf of feed-your-head cheese.

The owner of a Winn-Dixie grocery in Florida says a store display of a cake decorated with a Confederate flag was in poor judgment. He didn’t do much better when he tried to make it up to his black customers by serving an I Have A Cream cake.

Elijah Williams, a Christian judge in Florida named for an Old Testament prophet, is being forced to respond to anonymous bloggers claiming Elijah is a Muslim name. Wait until they find out that “Ground Zero” was named after an Arabic numeral.

Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele is traveling to Guam in September to help raise money for the island's top Republican candidates. If you think Steele can’t sing any lower, half of the candidates are running for student council.

Mort Walker’s Beetle Bailey comic strip turns 60 this week. Walker’s longevity was an inspiration to many young cartoonists and Beetle’s ability to go so long without seeing combat was an inspiration to young George W. Bush.

Raytheon won a $450 million contract to supply our military with small bombs. Only in America does it cost $450 million to do the same thing a guy in Iraq can do with a used remote control and $5 bag of fertilizer.

No comments:

Post a Comment