Wal-Mart announced the closing of its Moscow office. They found out that even vodka doesn’t make cheap stuff look good.
Tiger Woods’ ex-wife Elin Nordegren has a new boyfriend and is already talking about having his kids. So it looks like Tiger isn’t the only one who celebrates a victory by getting a new club for his bag.
The NFL is reviewing the sideline incident in which Miami Dolphins cornerback Nolan Carroll was tripped by New York Jets' strength and conditioning coach Sal Alosi while covering a punt. Possible punishments include a fine, suspension or being forced to play a game for the Carolina Panthers.
Beginning next year, Ukraine plans to open up the sealed zone around the Chernobyl reactor to tourists. Exhibits at this fun-for-the-whole-family park will include Fantasy-Explanation-Land, No-Tomorrow-Land and Dead Critter Country.
The Las Vegas Strippermobile is back with Santa and his bikini-wearing helpers delivering toys to a local charity. Talk about confusing. Kids who were on the “nice” list had to give their toys back as soon as they looked at the strippers.
The doctor for “Dancing with the Stars” winner Jennifer Grey says the back surgery for her ruptured disc was a complete success. Unfortunately, the doctor for third-place finisher Bristol Palin says he was unable to fix her ruptured virginity.
Miami tax officials ruled that O.J. Simpson is still entitled to a tax exemption on his Florida home while he’s in jail in Nevada. With the deduction, O.J.’s 2010 tax bill is down to a carton of cigarettes and two jugs of rotten-apple wine.
Colleges around the country are offering things like laser tag, petting zoos, karaoke parties and miniature golf to help students deal with pre-exam stress. This is really disappointing for football players who thought those were courses.
A federal judge has ruled that President Obama's health care law is unconstitutional because the government cannot require Americans to purchase insurance. In a rare show of support, future Speaker of the House John Boehner offered the president the use of his crying towel.
In an interview on 60 Minutes, incoming Republican Speaker John Boehner said that he rejects the word “compromise.” He also rejects the words “sunblock,” “nicotine patch” and “crybaby.”
Monday, December 13, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Coffee porn in a cup
In her new book, Sarah Palin calls contestants on American Idol “talent-deprived” people who suffer from “the cult of self-esteem.” As opposed to “Dancing With The Stars,” where her daughter Bristol who gets votes from the talent-deprived and cult of self-esteem.
In her new book, Sarah Palin says “we all had to bite our tongues” when Levi Johnston criticized her family. That explains why she has so much trouble pronounciating her words.
Eva Longoria filed court papers to divorce basketball star Tony Parker, citing irreconcilable differences. In basketball terms, she wanted to stick with the starting lineup while Tony preferred to bring in a substitute.
Scientists using the supercollider in Geneva claim they’ve created an anti-atom that may help solve what happened to all of the antimatter created by the Big Bang. For those not familiar with the term, evolutionists refer to the stuff from the Big Bang as “antimatter” while creations call it “doesn’t matter.”
The Philadelphia Eagles are going green by adding wind turbines and solar panels to their stadium. They’re hoping this will lower energy costs while messing with opponents’ kickers and shining sun in the eyes of their quarterbacks.
Tea Party darling Sharron Angle said in a recent speech that “sometimes dictators have good ideas.” She later issued a clarification that she was referring to dictators in other countries, not that Socialist Nazi currently running our country.
Chinese officials have put a stop to a new craze where newlywed couples have their wedding pictures taken in the nude. Couples wanting nude wedding pictures must now wait until they leave for the honeymoon and have them taken by airport security scanners.
A woman told Russian airport officials that her daughter was a suicide bomber in an attempt to stop her from flying away to get married. The woman was arrested and charged with making a false terror report and being a mom.
Lisa Murkowski of Alaska is officially the winner of the state’s Senate election, defeating Joe Miller, the candidate endorsed by Sarah Palin. When told the news, Miller became the second person in the country to shoot his television during “Dancing With The Stars.”
A New York coffee shop is offering a 20-ounce beverage with 10 shots of espresso billed as “coffee porn in a cup.” I thought that’s what Chock Full O’Nuts was.
Police in Idaho arrested a woman accused of posing as a plastic surgeon and performing bogus breast exams on women in bars and nightclubs. The women got suspicious when the fake doctor asked them to buy her a brandy so she could measure their breasts with the snifter.
Scientists in Boston say they have developed a laser camera that can “see” around corners and take pictures of things not in its direct line of sight. Proving once again that the inability to talk to women is the real mother of invention.
In her new book, Sarah Palin says “we all had to bite our tongues” when Levi Johnston criticized her family. That explains why she has so much trouble pronounciating her words.
Eva Longoria filed court papers to divorce basketball star Tony Parker, citing irreconcilable differences. In basketball terms, she wanted to stick with the starting lineup while Tony preferred to bring in a substitute.
Scientists using the supercollider in Geneva claim they’ve created an anti-atom that may help solve what happened to all of the antimatter created by the Big Bang. For those not familiar with the term, evolutionists refer to the stuff from the Big Bang as “antimatter” while creations call it “doesn’t matter.”
The Philadelphia Eagles are going green by adding wind turbines and solar panels to their stadium. They’re hoping this will lower energy costs while messing with opponents’ kickers and shining sun in the eyes of their quarterbacks.
Tea Party darling Sharron Angle said in a recent speech that “sometimes dictators have good ideas.” She later issued a clarification that she was referring to dictators in other countries, not that Socialist Nazi currently running our country.
Chinese officials have put a stop to a new craze where newlywed couples have their wedding pictures taken in the nude. Couples wanting nude wedding pictures must now wait until they leave for the honeymoon and have them taken by airport security scanners.
A woman told Russian airport officials that her daughter was a suicide bomber in an attempt to stop her from flying away to get married. The woman was arrested and charged with making a false terror report and being a mom.
Lisa Murkowski of Alaska is officially the winner of the state’s Senate election, defeating Joe Miller, the candidate endorsed by Sarah Palin. When told the news, Miller became the second person in the country to shoot his television during “Dancing With The Stars.”
A New York coffee shop is offering a 20-ounce beverage with 10 shots of espresso billed as “coffee porn in a cup.” I thought that’s what Chock Full O’Nuts was.
Police in Idaho arrested a woman accused of posing as a plastic surgeon and performing bogus breast exams on women in bars and nightclubs. The women got suspicious when the fake doctor asked them to buy her a brandy so she could measure their breasts with the snifter.
Scientists in Boston say they have developed a laser camera that can “see” around corners and take pictures of things not in its direct line of sight. Proving once again that the inability to talk to women is the real mother of invention.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
No wonder only the Republicans understood him
In his new book, George W. Bush says “damn right” to the question of whether her personally authorized the use of waterboarding, which he says is not torture. And he’ll gladly authorize it again, especially if his book isn’t selling as well as Laura’s.
Animal rights activists people in the Czech Republic are upset about a calendar which shows a topless model chopping the head off a pig. The revelation about the shocking photos was a double shock to the millions of guys who never saw the pig.
Doctors in China say a man impaled by 13 metal rods in a construction accident is expected to recover completely. Despite that, he still won’t let his disappointed teenage daughter get her tongue pierced.
Israel is the first country to feature a same-sex duo on its version of “Dancing with the Stars” and the women say they will alternate who gets to lead. Kind of like on the U.S. show when Margaret Cho danced with Louis Van Amstel.
Qantas grounded its Airbus A380 fleet after one of the superjumbo jets blew out an engine and was forced to make an emergency landing in Singapore with 459 people aboard. To give you some idea how scary it was, none of the passengers could fit their airsick bags in the overhead compartments or under the seat in front of them.
A group of children waiting for their morning school bus near Missoula, Montana, Wednesday morning got a shock when they spotted a mountain lion in a field just 200 feet from their stop. The smart kids used the situation as a learning experience and shoved the local bully in front of the lion.
Domino's Pizza Japan, Inc. is offering to pay one person $31,000 for a one-hour job. Wow, who knew that Osama bin Laden was hiding in Japan and likes to get Domino’s pizza delivered?
Nancy Pelosi says she has "no regrets" about her time as Speaker of the House. On the other hand, John Boehner doesn’t even have the job yet and he already regrets buying a portable tanning bed before measuring his new office door.
President Obama referred to the midterm election results as a “shellacking,” a term that hasn’t been in everyday use in over 30 years. No wonder only the Republicans understood him.
Fox News says it has no plans to hire defeated Tea Party candidate Christine O'Donnell. In fact, the only network interested in her is a small cable station looking to do a remake of “Bewitched.”
Animal rights activists people in the Czech Republic are upset about a calendar which shows a topless model chopping the head off a pig. The revelation about the shocking photos was a double shock to the millions of guys who never saw the pig.
Doctors in China say a man impaled by 13 metal rods in a construction accident is expected to recover completely. Despite that, he still won’t let his disappointed teenage daughter get her tongue pierced.
Israel is the first country to feature a same-sex duo on its version of “Dancing with the Stars” and the women say they will alternate who gets to lead. Kind of like on the U.S. show when Margaret Cho danced with Louis Van Amstel.
Qantas grounded its Airbus A380 fleet after one of the superjumbo jets blew out an engine and was forced to make an emergency landing in Singapore with 459 people aboard. To give you some idea how scary it was, none of the passengers could fit their airsick bags in the overhead compartments or under the seat in front of them.
A group of children waiting for their morning school bus near Missoula, Montana, Wednesday morning got a shock when they spotted a mountain lion in a field just 200 feet from their stop. The smart kids used the situation as a learning experience and shoved the local bully in front of the lion.
Domino's Pizza Japan, Inc. is offering to pay one person $31,000 for a one-hour job. Wow, who knew that Osama bin Laden was hiding in Japan and likes to get Domino’s pizza delivered?
Nancy Pelosi says she has "no regrets" about her time as Speaker of the House. On the other hand, John Boehner doesn’t even have the job yet and he already regrets buying a portable tanning bed before measuring his new office door.
President Obama referred to the midterm election results as a “shellacking,” a term that hasn’t been in everyday use in over 30 years. No wonder only the Republicans understood him.
Fox News says it has no plans to hire defeated Tea Party candidate Christine O'Donnell. In fact, the only network interested in her is a small cable station looking to do a remake of “Bewitched.”
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Most of his words were homonyms
In his latest book, former president Jimmy Carter blames his own church, the Southern Baptist Convention, for breaking down the separation between church and state. In response, the Southern Baptists blame Carter for breaking down the separation between peanuts and chocolate.
The British big-and-tall retailer High & Mighty has introduced a size XXXXL suit for men with a 64-inch chest and 60-inch waist. I think it’s called the Westminster Flabby.
Rigby & Peller, the official lingerie provider for Queen Elizabeth II, announced a $343,000 loss in profits last year. The loss came after the announcement that it was the official lingerie provider for Queen Elizabeth II.
A Swedish man was acquitted of drunk driving after the court couldn’t rule out the possibility that he was sleepwalking. In a related story, Charlie Sheen dyed his hair blonde and changed his name to Sven.
A transsexual wearing a pink wig and a dress won Britain's national Scrabble championship. Not surprisingly, most of his words were homonyms.
A Southwest Airlines flight from Alabama to Florida was temporarily delayed due to a suspicious white substance that turned out to be foot powder. Flight attendants knew it was foot powder when they noticed the owner was sitting in a row all by himself.
Actor Randy Quaid and his wife Evi say a group of shadowy figures they call “star whackers” are trying to ruin his career and kill them both. Those aren’t star whackers … they’re other people named Quaid.
A University of Kansas researcher has identified five styles of flirting: physical, traditional, polite, sincere and playful. If you’re still trying to pick someone up at last call, you can add grumpy, sleepy and dopey.
Michael Jackson’s mom, Katherine Jackson, will discuss her son in an interview with Oprah Winfrey next week. Potential audience members are already lining up after hearing a rumor that Oprah will honor Michael’s memory by giving everyone a chimp.
BP PLC announced a third-quarter profit of $1.79 billion. It would have been even higher, but BP executives dropped some bags of money while laughing their way to the bank.
A Los Angeles photographer claims he set a world record by staying awake for 40 days straight. He finally fell asleep when his wife turned on a special on the life of Al Gore.
The British big-and-tall retailer High & Mighty has introduced a size XXXXL suit for men with a 64-inch chest and 60-inch waist. I think it’s called the Westminster Flabby.
Rigby & Peller, the official lingerie provider for Queen Elizabeth II, announced a $343,000 loss in profits last year. The loss came after the announcement that it was the official lingerie provider for Queen Elizabeth II.
A Swedish man was acquitted of drunk driving after the court couldn’t rule out the possibility that he was sleepwalking. In a related story, Charlie Sheen dyed his hair blonde and changed his name to Sven.
A transsexual wearing a pink wig and a dress won Britain's national Scrabble championship. Not surprisingly, most of his words were homonyms.
A Southwest Airlines flight from Alabama to Florida was temporarily delayed due to a suspicious white substance that turned out to be foot powder. Flight attendants knew it was foot powder when they noticed the owner was sitting in a row all by himself.
Actor Randy Quaid and his wife Evi say a group of shadowy figures they call “star whackers” are trying to ruin his career and kill them both. Those aren’t star whackers … they’re other people named Quaid.
A University of Kansas researcher has identified five styles of flirting: physical, traditional, polite, sincere and playful. If you’re still trying to pick someone up at last call, you can add grumpy, sleepy and dopey.
Michael Jackson’s mom, Katherine Jackson, will discuss her son in an interview with Oprah Winfrey next week. Potential audience members are already lining up after hearing a rumor that Oprah will honor Michael’s memory by giving everyone a chimp.
BP PLC announced a third-quarter profit of $1.79 billion. It would have been even higher, but BP executives dropped some bags of money while laughing their way to the bank.
A Los Angeles photographer claims he set a world record by staying awake for 40 days straight. He finally fell asleep when his wife turned on a special on the life of Al Gore.
Friday, October 29, 2010
A whopper of a hangover?
Sarah Palin says she’s run for president in 2012 if nobody else wants to. That’s the same thing Mark Ballas said on Dancing with the Stars when asked if he’d partner with Brisol Palin.
The Hells Angels are suing Saks Fifth Avenue, Zappos and fashion designer Alexander McQueen for allegedly using their name without permission on a scarf. They found out about it when they got thoudands of membership applications from guys with pink scooters.
A Irish film-maker claims a 1928 Charlie Chaplin film is proof of time travel because it shows a woman walking while talking on what appears to be a cell phone. It looks like the woman was trying to send a signal to the future because she walks past four bars.
A company in Toronto has created a Cheeseburger Cocktail, which contains rum, beef stock, tomatoes and lettuce water. Here’s my question. If you make it a double, does it give you a whopper of a hangover?
A San Francisco marijuana dispensary is offering patients free joints every time the Giants hit a home run during the World Series. That explains the thousands of glaucoma patients outside Barry Bonds’ home begging him to unretire.
The Pizza Express in Manchester, England, is investigating reports that a couple was spotted having sex in one of its restaurants after hours. The pizza chain want to avoid being sued for stealing the plot of half the porn industry’s most popular films.
NASA is conducting feasibility studies on whether astronauts could be sent on permanent, one-way missions to Mars to colonize it. NASA won’t send them to the moon because it can’t afford to pay royalties to the estates of Jackie Gleason and Audrey Meadows.
A Brazilian court ruled that McDonald's must pay a former franchise manager $17,500 because he gained 65 pounds while working there for 12 years. McDonald’s blamed the manager for thinking the phrase “Do you want fries with that?” was actually “Are you going to finish that?”
The Food and Drug Administration has decided not to approve Onexa, a highly-touted experimental diet pill, because it could cause major cardiovascular events. The manufacturer is hoping the FDA will reconsider when it starts putting the pills in bottles with Cheney-proof caps.
Former House Majority Leader Dick Armey claims that President Bill Clinton and Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich privately discussed their extramarital affairs with each other over drinks and cigars. Both men deny it, saying only that they were close but no cigar.
The Hells Angels are suing Saks Fifth Avenue, Zappos and fashion designer Alexander McQueen for allegedly using their name without permission on a scarf. They found out about it when they got thoudands of membership applications from guys with pink scooters.
A Irish film-maker claims a 1928 Charlie Chaplin film is proof of time travel because it shows a woman walking while talking on what appears to be a cell phone. It looks like the woman was trying to send a signal to the future because she walks past four bars.
A company in Toronto has created a Cheeseburger Cocktail, which contains rum, beef stock, tomatoes and lettuce water. Here’s my question. If you make it a double, does it give you a whopper of a hangover?
A San Francisco marijuana dispensary is offering patients free joints every time the Giants hit a home run during the World Series. That explains the thousands of glaucoma patients outside Barry Bonds’ home begging him to unretire.
The Pizza Express in Manchester, England, is investigating reports that a couple was spotted having sex in one of its restaurants after hours. The pizza chain want to avoid being sued for stealing the plot of half the porn industry’s most popular films.
NASA is conducting feasibility studies on whether astronauts could be sent on permanent, one-way missions to Mars to colonize it. NASA won’t send them to the moon because it can’t afford to pay royalties to the estates of Jackie Gleason and Audrey Meadows.
A Brazilian court ruled that McDonald's must pay a former franchise manager $17,500 because he gained 65 pounds while working there for 12 years. McDonald’s blamed the manager for thinking the phrase “Do you want fries with that?” was actually “Are you going to finish that?”
The Food and Drug Administration has decided not to approve Onexa, a highly-touted experimental diet pill, because it could cause major cardiovascular events. The manufacturer is hoping the FDA will reconsider when it starts putting the pills in bottles with Cheney-proof caps.
Former House Majority Leader Dick Armey claims that President Bill Clinton and Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich privately discussed their extramarital affairs with each other over drinks and cigars. Both men deny it, saying only that they were close but no cigar.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Hell's Angelfish
Many retailers are moving Black Friday, the traditional day-after-Thanksgiving start of the holiday shopping season, to the Friday before Halloween. Sounds like the name should be changed to Bleak Friday.
In a recent interview, Laura Bush said her husband’s favorite iPad app is Scrabble. W can only play for a few minutes before getting a sudden uncontrollable urge for alphabet soup.
The Guinness Book awarded an Angolan man known as the Jaw of Awe the title of world's widest mouth after he shoved a 12-ounce can of soda in it sideways. He’s also under investigation for the mysterious disappearance of a number of dental hygienists.
A British inventor has created a new underwater scooter that allows tourists to explore coral reefs without learning to scuba dive or even swim. Regular reef divers are now complaining about being terrorized by a gang of tattooed scooter riders known as the Hell’s Angelfish.
Police in Boulder say a man apparently shot himself in the knee while sleepwalking. That’s the last time he’ll go straight to bed after watching a mobster movie.
Barry Bonds says he’d like to be a hitting coach someday for the San Francisco Giants. He’s waiting for the Giants to convert a Volkswagen beetle into a batting helmet for him.
The Columbus Zoo sadly reported that the world’s longest snake in captivity has died. In lieu of flowers, zookeepers are asking fans of the 24-foot python to send pallbearers instead.
The United Nations has confirmed that furniture in its New York headquarters is infested with bedbugs. Officials are trying to decide whether to fumigate the building or just move the furniture into the Iranian delegate’s office.
Delaware Republican Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell threatened to sue a radio station for posting a video of an interview she gave. She later backed down and threatened to turn the station owner into a frog instead.
The woman who was with Charlie Sheen during his latest drunken tirade has been identified as a 22-year-old porn star who says she’s not a prostitute. Right. She was naked in his room helping him rehearse one of those hilarious shower scenes from “Two-and-a-Half Men.”
The Museum of the Confederacy in Virginia is using x-rays to determine if two Civil War-era toy dolls in its collection were used to smuggle drugs. They got suspicious when they gave the dolls a water-filled bottle and the liquid came out of their noses instead of the other end.
In a recent interview, Laura Bush said her husband’s favorite iPad app is Scrabble. W can only play for a few minutes before getting a sudden uncontrollable urge for alphabet soup.
The Guinness Book awarded an Angolan man known as the Jaw of Awe the title of world's widest mouth after he shoved a 12-ounce can of soda in it sideways. He’s also under investigation for the mysterious disappearance of a number of dental hygienists.
A British inventor has created a new underwater scooter that allows tourists to explore coral reefs without learning to scuba dive or even swim. Regular reef divers are now complaining about being terrorized by a gang of tattooed scooter riders known as the Hell’s Angelfish.
Police in Boulder say a man apparently shot himself in the knee while sleepwalking. That’s the last time he’ll go straight to bed after watching a mobster movie.
Barry Bonds says he’d like to be a hitting coach someday for the San Francisco Giants. He’s waiting for the Giants to convert a Volkswagen beetle into a batting helmet for him.
The Columbus Zoo sadly reported that the world’s longest snake in captivity has died. In lieu of flowers, zookeepers are asking fans of the 24-foot python to send pallbearers instead.
The United Nations has confirmed that furniture in its New York headquarters is infested with bedbugs. Officials are trying to decide whether to fumigate the building or just move the furniture into the Iranian delegate’s office.
Delaware Republican Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell threatened to sue a radio station for posting a video of an interview she gave. She later backed down and threatened to turn the station owner into a frog instead.
The woman who was with Charlie Sheen during his latest drunken tirade has been identified as a 22-year-old porn star who says she’s not a prostitute. Right. She was naked in his room helping him rehearse one of those hilarious shower scenes from “Two-and-a-Half Men.”
The Museum of the Confederacy in Virginia is using x-rays to determine if two Civil War-era toy dolls in its collection were used to smuggle drugs. They got suspicious when they gave the dolls a water-filled bottle and the liquid came out of their noses instead of the other end.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
$%#@ Our Former Star Says
According to the Census Bureau, an estimated 36 million children between ages 5 and 13 put on costumes and went trick-or-treating last Halloween. That number will be higher this year due to trick-or-treating Tea Partiers who act like they’re between the ages of 5 and 13.
A Nevada political action committee caught flak for an automated call that went out to about 50,000 homes at one in the morning. The PAC must now pay for 50,000 broken phones and 50,0000 holes in the wall.
An online store in Missouri is selling a 3-pound, 26-inch-long 4,000-calorie gummy worm that it claims is the world’s largest. It comes with the world’s smallest Jaws-of-Life to help open the mouths of anyone dumb enough to try and eat the whole thing.
An Australian man was charged with assault after tattooing a 16-inch penis onto his friend's back. The tattooed man knew something was wrong when his hand-shaped backscratcher started growing hair on the palm.
In Germany, a tiger trainer who almost mauled to death by his big cats is getting married and the tigers will serve as his best man and groomsmen. Not surprisingly, the bachelor party will be held at the local Pussycat Club.
Train stations in China are now installing vending machines that dispense live crabs. As if getting live bedbugs from the sleeping cars wasn’t bad enough.
Comedian and “Daily Show” host Jon Stewart is No. 1 on AskMen's Top 49 Most Influential Men of 2010 list, finishing well ahead of No. 21 Barack Obama. Obama would have finished higher, but the web site is called AskMen, not AskMenWhoWillLoseTheirJobsIfHe’sNotReelected.
An original Darth Vader costume from the “Star Wars” movies is up for auction in London. The owner is an anonymous American who says he can’t wear the costume anymore because the metal helmet interferes with his defibrillator and the eyeholes are too small to see the people whose faces he’s trying to shoot.
Karl Rove said in an interview that “45 percent of NPR listeners were Saddam Hussein.” If that’s true, how come 45 percent of the callers to Car Talk didn’t want advice on how to tune-up a camel?
More bad news for Charlie Sheen. The producers of “Two-and-a-Half Men” have purchased the rights to the title “$%#@ Our Former Star Says.”
A Nevada political action committee caught flak for an automated call that went out to about 50,000 homes at one in the morning. The PAC must now pay for 50,000 broken phones and 50,0000 holes in the wall.
An online store in Missouri is selling a 3-pound, 26-inch-long 4,000-calorie gummy worm that it claims is the world’s largest. It comes with the world’s smallest Jaws-of-Life to help open the mouths of anyone dumb enough to try and eat the whole thing.
An Australian man was charged with assault after tattooing a 16-inch penis onto his friend's back. The tattooed man knew something was wrong when his hand-shaped backscratcher started growing hair on the palm.
In Germany, a tiger trainer who almost mauled to death by his big cats is getting married and the tigers will serve as his best man and groomsmen. Not surprisingly, the bachelor party will be held at the local Pussycat Club.
Train stations in China are now installing vending machines that dispense live crabs. As if getting live bedbugs from the sleeping cars wasn’t bad enough.
Comedian and “Daily Show” host Jon Stewart is No. 1 on AskMen's Top 49 Most Influential Men of 2010 list, finishing well ahead of No. 21 Barack Obama. Obama would have finished higher, but the web site is called AskMen, not AskMenWhoWillLoseTheirJobsIfHe’sNotReelected.
An original Darth Vader costume from the “Star Wars” movies is up for auction in London. The owner is an anonymous American who says he can’t wear the costume anymore because the metal helmet interferes with his defibrillator and the eyeholes are too small to see the people whose faces he’s trying to shoot.
Karl Rove said in an interview that “45 percent of NPR listeners were Saddam Hussein.” If that’s true, how come 45 percent of the callers to Car Talk didn’t want advice on how to tune-up a camel?
More bad news for Charlie Sheen. The producers of “Two-and-a-Half Men” have purchased the rights to the title “$%#@ Our Former Star Says.”
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