Tuesday, September 15, 2009

A bug zapper?

Volkswagen announced it will unveil a new electric car called the E-Up at this week's Frankfurt Auto Show. If the E-Up electric car replaces the Beetle, will that make it a bug zapper?

During an interview on CNBC, President Obama called Kanye West a "jackass" for interrupting Taylor Swift's acceptance speech at the MTV Video Music Awards. In response, Osama bin Laden released another audio tape with the message, “What am I, chopped liver?”

Vice President Joe Biden made an unannounced trip to Baghdad to show that the White House is still focused on Iraq. Biden isn’t worried about reporters throwing shoes at him … he’s got plenty of experience catching feet in his mouth.

According to a new book by former White House speechwriter Matt Latimer, President Bush mocked other politicians behind their backs, saying Hillary Clinton had a “fat keister.” Hillary took it as a compliment because Bush is the only president who seemed to notice her keister at all.

Congressman Joe Wilson's wife Roxanne said in a campaign video that after the president’s speech she asked her husband, “Joe, who's the nut that hollered out, 'you lie'?” She didn’t recognize it because at home he hollers at her using his “inside” voice.

Reporters are barred from Sarah Palin's speech to investors in China later this month. Rumor has it it’s a new campaign strategy she’s testing out for a possible 2012 presidential run.

The Iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at former President George W. Bush was released from prison after nine months and accused Iraqi security forces of torturing him with beatings, whippings and electric shocks. If he thinks that’s torture, he’d better hope he never finds himself alone in a room with Bush’s mother, Barbara.

A 107-year-old woman in Malaysia who been married 22 times says she’s afraid her husband will leave her and she’ll have to start looking for number 23. She’s been married so many times, the marriage license bureau in Kuala Lumpur just stamps her hand.

President Obama's next-door neighbors in Chicago have put their 6,000-square-foot house up for sale. They want to be out before Halloween when they expect to be swamped by thousands of kids dressed like Joe Wilson looking for the l liar’s house.

Jessica Simpson posted on her Twitter page that a coyote ran off with her dog, a maltipoo given to her by ex-husband Nick Lachey. She got a tweet back from Paris Hilton telling her a place to buy a purse covered in coyote repellant.

A hotel in Aruba is offering a $300 “conception credit” to couples who can prove they conceived a child while staying there. To get the reward, the couple needs a doctor’s note confirming the conception date, not just a hotel receipt and a torn condom.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wants to turn a soon-to-be-closed prison building in Virginia into the nation's first chicken empathy museum. I think it’s going to be called the Guggen-hen.

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