Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Removing the ‘e’ in Middlesex

Humorist Garrison Keillor is recovering from a minor stroke but still plans to start his new season of "A Prairie Home Companion" in just over two weeks. Keillor got treated at the Mayo Clinic where all the orderlies are strong, all the nurses are good looking and all the doctors are above average.

Former Congressman Mark Foley, who resigned after sending sexy Internet messages to underage male interns, is set to host a radio talk show in Florida called “Inside the Mind of Mark Foley.” If you’re not in Florida, you can get an idea of what’s inside the mind of Mark Foley by listening to Howard Stern on “Male Strippers Day.”

Author Naomi Wolf is working on a new book tentatively titled A Cultural History of the Vagina. This is the first time that the words “culture” and “vagina” are on a product that has nothing to do with yeast infections.

E-mail spam filters have forced County Middlesex in Canada's province of Ontario to change its domain name by removing the ‘e’ in Middlesex. This is bad news for hundreds of porn sites that have been getting accidental visits from people looking for Middlesex by featuring videos of three-ways with a partner in the middle.

Australian firefighters rescued two girls lost in a storm drain who used their phones to post their predicament on their Facebook pages instead of calling the police. They’re OK and now have over 300 friend request from Dungeons and Dragons players.

A member of Sweden’s parliament is recommending bowing instead of shaking hands or hugging to stop the spread of swine flu. His fellow politicians think it’s a good idea unless they get a chance to meet Michelle Obama or Carla Bruni.

A judge in Ohio is ordering defendants to wear neon green T-shirts that say “I'm a thief” while they perform court-ordered community service. You know, we’d probably have less problems on Wall Street if CEOs accepting bailout money had to wear similar neon green pinstripe suits.

A single UPS delivery truck got the most parking violations in Denver last year with parking 196 tickets having fines of nearly $5,700. In Denver, the answer to the question “What can Brown do for you?” is “Carry a roll of quarters.”

A man and his son won their respective age divisions in the cricket-spitting contest at the Central Wisconsin State Fair. Their wife and mom said this is going to really screw up the seating at Thanksgiving dinner this year.

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