Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Cotton balls, alcohol and a giant eraser

Carnival Cruise Lines turned down a request to book a cruise with a “cougars and cubs” theme catering to older women and younger men because it was against their “family” image. The group plans to try again under the theme “aunts and nephews.”

A New York City cab driver returned over $21,000 in cash accidentally left in his cab on Christmas Eve by a lady visiting from Italy. Now the woman is looking for someone to launder the money for her … not because it’s illegal but because it smells like cab.

A Washington state blood center is offering donors a free brewski in a “Give blood, get beer” promotion. The biggest donor so far is a mysterious man with pale skin, sharp teeth and a large belly.

Fox has renewed the musical drama “Glee” for a second season. With Sarah Palin signing with the News Channel, Fox is now the go-to place for fans of Glee and Tea.

Scientists studying eye makeup from the time of the Egyptian pharaohs say women may have worn thick lead-based eyeliner to guard against bacterial eye infections. This explains why Cleopatra’s bathroom contained cotton balls, alcohol and a giant eraser.

According to a new survey, 57 percent of Americans approved of the way President Obama had responded to the botched Christmas airliner attack. The other 43 percent are currently in line to be scanned at the airport.

Population experts say China’s so-called "one-child policy" could leave 24 million men single by 2020. And by 2040, the Chinese language will no longer have a word for “lower the toilet seat.”

On a recent show, Rush Limbaugh made this comment about the late Senator Ted Kennedy: “It was Negroes that brought Ted Kennedy his booze.” If this was a game of Really Offensive Scrabble, Rush just got a triple-word score.

Simon Cowell says he’s leaving “American Idol” to host a U.S. version of “The X Factor” and it appears he wants Paula Abdul as a judge. To save money, instead of having three judges, Paula will be in charge of holding a two-sided card that says “Dawg” and “Pitchy.”

James Taylor and Carole King announced the dates for the U.S. leg of their upcoming tour celebrating the 40th anniversary of their first performance together. Catering to their fan base, the concerts will begin at 4pm, have frequent bathroom breaks and allow mumbling during the sing-along’s.

In answer to a question on steroids, former college basketball coach Bob Knight said, “Gatorade is a performance-enhancing substance.” Without Gatorade, Knight would have only been able to toss a footstool and choke a waterboy.

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