A new biography of Warren Beatty claims the actor and filmmaker has had sex with around 13,000 women before marrying Annette Bening in 1992. He and Bening had to buy new furniture when they got married because Beatty had notched every piece of wood to sawdust.
The Secret Service is investigating an effigy of President Obama found hanging by a noose in a building in Plains, Georgia, the hometown of former President Jimmy Carter. A 5.0 earthquake that hit Plains shortly after the effigy was reported was traced to an angry Carter grinding his teeth.
Newark Airport was shut down for five hours after an unidentified man walked into a secure area and then disappeared. Good luck finding him. If he lives in Newark, he’s not afraid of airport security or disgruntled passengers.
A ring of international left-shoe thieves was busted by police in Sweden. If found guilty, the sentence for stealing left shoes is 5-to-10E.
A judge in Kingston, New York, took the oath of office with his hand placed on a dictionary because officials couldn’t find a Bible. A Bible was not required to make it official but, just to be on the safe side, the judge tore out the page with the definition of “atheism.”
Pastor Rick Warren of the Saddleback Church in California posted an appeal on the church’s web site asking for $900,000 and raised over $2.4 million. Warren wanted to call it a “miracle” but his accountant asked him to hold off until he determined if miracles were tax-exempt.
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals says KFC is blocking its attempt to erect a statue in Louisville of a bloodied chicken on crutches. KFC says it’ll let the chicken statue go up if PETA replaces the crutches with sporks.
The New York City health department spent $32,000 in taxpayer money on a brochure advising heroin users on how to shoot up in a more healthful way. Step one is: “Find someone willing to trade you some smack for your book.”
Bulgaria has named an appliance for roasting peppers that country’s most revolutionary household device of the 20th century, finishing ahead of electricity, television and cell phones. Millions of Bulgarians are sending handwritten letters to the government asking where they can find these appliances when it’s not dark outside.
NASA scientists spent the sixth anniversary of the Spirit rover landing on Mars trying to help it get unstuck from a rut. Apparently ‘6’ in rover years is the same as ‘40’ in human years.
Rush Limbaugh’s doctors still can’t figure out what gave him chest pains that felt like a heart attack. Dick Cheney told Rush that if he sent over a 40-foot semi, Cheney would loan him one of his defibrillators.
Some Christmas trees in Arlington, Washington, were recycled by being made into food for goats on a goat farm. It’s more expensive than regular goat food but you save money down the road because the evergreen makes their chops already smell like mint jelly.
The 2,625-foot-tall Burj Dubai, the world's tallest building, has opened for business in the United Arab Emirates. The developer says it’s already at 90 percent occupancy, but the burqas make it hard to tell if it’s filled with female office workers or inflatable dolls.
A shirtless Tiger Woods is on the cover of the February issue of Vanity Fair magazine. If your local store doesn’t carry Vanity Fair, you can see the same picture by stopping any blonde on the street and asking to see her text message photos.
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