Friday, March 5, 2010

Jehovah’s Winstonless

After Liz Cheney called Department of Justice attorneys terrorist sympathizers for defending Gitmo detainees, a conservative blogger compared her to Joseph McCarthy. If she’s cold, stiff and manipulated by her father, wouldn’t she be more like Charlie McCarthy?

Two New York City police officers are charged with robbing about $1 million of perfume from a New Jersey warehouse. The perfume caper is already being worked into a new cop show called “Law and Order: Smelly Victims Unit.”

A group of U.S. doctors says it wants to replace the popular food pyramid with a Power Plate because “People eat from plates, not pyramids.” This is bad news for restaurants in Egypt because they make a fortune off of American tourists who get hungry on pyramid tours.

Twitter reached its 10 billionth tweet this week. The site was then swamped with 10 billion more tweets asking, “Was it me?”

Three quarters of the British actors surveyed say London’s theaters have a severe rat problem. It’s so bad, the most popular play in production is now called “Vermin of the Opera.”

British researchers have found that frozen vegetables have more nutrients than fresh vegetables if they are frozen soon after being picked. Young British boys are waiting to find out if this is also true for boogers.

In Philadelphia, a door-to-door counseling program is helping new moms cut down on smoking. The door-to-door anti-smoking program is run by a religious group called the Jehovah’s Winstonless.

General Motors announced it will reinstate more than half the dealerships it targeted to drop from its network. The 600 dealerships are the ones across the street from Toyota dealerships.

A Western Massachusetts funeral home is trying “bring life” to its business with a chili cook-off, a murder-mystery show and free limo rides to couples on their 50th anniversaries. Because nothing says “life” like a ride in a black limo with the lights on.

As part of her campaign against childhood obesity, First Lady Michelle Obama kicked soccer balls with kids at a school in Washington. Just like when they were dating, her husband was under the bleachers sneaking a cigarette.

President Obama's newly released medical report reveals he’s taking a prescription medication for jet lag. It’s different than the prescription President Bush followed to fight jet lag, which was to stay home.

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