Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Stardust Mammaries

Slovenian police arrested a computer hacker suspected of creating the Mariposa botnet, a malicious software code that infected 12 million computers worldwide. He should have know it would be a bad day when he found out all of his Star Trek shirts were dirty except for the red one.

Mocienne Petit Jackson is claiming she’s the love child of Michael Jackson and Diana Ross’ sister and wants part of his estate and custody of his kids. No word from the Jacksons but Diana Ross says there ain’t no mountain of evidence high enough.

A 56-year-old woman took 28 hours and 44 minutes to get from Dover to Calais to become the slowest person ever to swim the English Channel. Not surprisingly, the first thing she wanted when she got to France was a plate of escargot.

Austrian brewers claim they’ve invented a beer laced with cheese that improves a drinker' sexual performance. It’s expected to be available in the U.S. soon under the name Pabst Blue Cheesin’.

A hotel in Tokyo has a special room for model train fanatics that comes with a fully functioning model railroad system. Not surprisingly, the room has only a single bed.

In Israel, a married Palestinian man was given an 18 month jail sentence for having sex with a Jewish woman after lying to her that he was Jewish, single and interested in a relationship. This could severely damage Israel’s support from Republican politicians.

The Chestatee Wildlife Preserve in Dahlonega, Georgia, is home to a baby zedonk, a cross between a zebra father and donkey mother. I thought a donkey that changed its stripes was called a Blue Dog Democrat.

The Cincinnati Bengals have signed wide receiver Terrell Owens to play with his friend and fellow wide receiver Chad Ochocinco. With their egos, the Bengals could be the first NFL team to have one player tackle his own teammate for catching a ball.

Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio says he’ll jail immigration protesters when Arizona’s new immigration law takes effect. And to be on the safe side, he also plans to jail any radio DJ who plays Eric Clapton singing “I Shot The Sheriff.”

France's first lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy is making her debut as an actress in a Woody Allen movie being shot in Paris. Based on the shots he took of Carla, Woody plans to call the movie “Stardust Mammaries.”

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