In-deceased exposure

Laurie David, ex-wife of Larry David of “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” is denying rumors she’s having an affair with Al Gore. She refuses to comment on a report that she got a tattoo on her rear for Al that reads “An Inconvenient Tush.”

Rumors are flying that Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston are back together. Levi decided to get more involved with raising his son Tripp after hearing Granny Sarah thought it was OK that he had friends over for tea parties.

Sweden's royal family is upset at Mattel making a Barbie doll that looks like Crown Princess Victoria. Actually, what they don’t like is that Ken can’t bend at the waist low enough to bow to her.

Scientists in Japan have completed a study they say proves that monkeys like watching television, especially shows with animals. And just like many humans, the monkeys threw poo at the screen every time Glenn Beck came on.

A man in China has trained his Belgian shepherd to climb trees and says the dog can go higher than ten feet. In a related story, Michael Vick just cut down the big tree outside his bedroom window.

Actor Kevin Costner has won a contract to supply BP with 32 of his high-tech oil separation machines. He’s also changed his Native American name to “”Dances With Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing.”

A mortuary in Ohio was shut down after the funeral director was caught walking around naked or partially-clothed in the funeral home during business hours. He was charged with in-deceased exposure.

It’s being reported that Goldman Sachs had to bring in exterminators to rid its office building in Jersey City, N.J., of bed bugs. A spokesperson for Goldman Sachs refused to comment on the blood-sucking lice out of professional courtesy.

Officials at a British museum dedicated to Winston Churchill said they have no idea who digitally altered a photograph of him and removed his cigar. A representative working on the George W. Bush Presidential Library is hoping to find whoever did it and see if they know how to remove a smirk.

A bullfighter in Mexico City who ran away from a bull in the rig was arrested and charged with breach of contract. Talk about a tough law. He either has to pay a big fine or cut off his ear and give it to the bull.