Monday, June 28, 2010

Those underwater robots have a pretty tough union

Police in Michigan arrested a drunken man and woman pushing a baby stroller containing two 4-year-old boys, open containers of alcohol and a bayonet. Boy, these pre-school graduation parties are really getting out of hand.

The Colorado man who was stopped in Pakistan while on a hunt for Osama bin Laden said he wanted to capture him alive and bring him to justice. He’s pretty upset that he got closer than anyone else but still didn’t get his picture on the cover of Rolling Stone.

BP claims it is spending $100 million per day on the Gulf oil disaster. Apparently those underwater robots have a pretty tough union.

BP is denying reports out of Russia that CEO Tony Hayward is resigning. It has no comments on other reports out of Russia that vodka kills the taste of oily water.

A set of three chest X-rays taken of Marilyn Monroe during a 1954 hospital visit sold for $45,000 at an auction in Las Vegas. It’s hard to tell if it’s really Marilyn but the hand in the X-ray is definitely a Kennedy.

Britain's Prince Harry fell off of his horse while playing polo in New York. The first aid center was immediately swamped with skinny supermodels offering to donate a thimble of blood.

A video of the late Gary Coleman's exposed penis is making the rounds on the Internet. After seeing it, you’ll know what really inspired the title “Diff’rent Strokes.”

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