Wednesday, June 10, 2009

The Buena Vista Socialist Club

A woman in Austin, Texas, used a recyclable grocery bank to hold the money she robbed from a bank. Talk about environmentally-conscious. Not only did she haul away greenbacks in a green bag, she threatened the teller with a green-piece.

Kyra Sedgwick says she and her husband, Kevin Bacon, lost a lot of “hard-earned money” investing in the Ponzi scheme run by Bernard Madoff. They’re so broke, a lot of former friends are repositioning themselves to at least 8 or 9 degrees away from Kevin.

A rabbi in Israel has issued a ruling allowing ultra-orthodox Jews to operate their mobile phones on the Sabbath and religious holidays with their teeth. Apple plans to take advantage of this by offering a special device called the eyetooth-Phone.

A woman in Israel threw out a mattress not knowing it contained her mother’s life savings of $1 million. Being a typical Jewish mother, she plans to forgive her daughter as soon as she finds the money or marries a really rich doctor.

It looks like Rosie O’Donnell will return to Broadway in a revival of the musical “Babes in Arms.” It’s not the role most people think she’d be best in, but there’s already someone playing the lead in “Shrek.”

The latest rumor is that Britney Spears is dating her agent, Jason Trawick. They were spotted looking for a house within walking distance of an emergency mental health clinic.

Texas Governor Rick Perry broke his right collarbone in a mountain biking accident. Or as he would put it, a bone in his neck seceded from his collar.

A Washington state appeals judge tossed out a woman's claim that continuously honking her horn in front of her neighbor's house is protected free speech. It’s only protected free speech if she honks to the tune of the National Anthem.

Fiat has closed the deal to take over most of Chrysler's assets. Sticking to its Italian roots, the first new car produced by the Fiat/Chrysler partnership will be an inexpensive hybrid pizza delivery vehicle.

A federal judge has ordered former State Department employee Walter Kendall Myers and his wife, Gwendolyn, held without bond on charges of spying for Cuba. Prosecutors feared they would flee the country for Cuba and join up with their fellow spies in the Buena Vista Socialist Club.

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