Sunday, June 7, 2009

We’re older than we look

In a recent speech, Newt Gingrich said, “We are living in a period where we are surrounded by paganism.” Well, it’s his own fault for hanging around with Rush Limbaugh.

Summer Bird won the Belmont Stakes, with Kentucky Derby winner and favorite Mine that Bird finishing third. Disappointed bettors gave both of them the bird.

While in France, aides to President Obama say he’s decided he needs to take charge of the push for change in U.S. healthcare. That’s what happens when you travel around the world and find out your insurance doesn’t cover Montezuma’s revenge.

Wondergirls, the top female pop group in South Korea, announced a U.S. tour this summer with the Jonas Brothers. The Jonas Brothers are preparing for the tour by learning the Korean word for “We’re older than we look.”

"American Idol" judge Paula Abdul has been dropping hints that she’s "not sure" if she will be returning for a ninth season. Then again, she’s also not sure if she was actually there for the eighth season.

The Russian computer programmer who invented the video game “Tetris” is celebrating its 25th anniversary. Like fans of Tetris, he’s celebrating by staying home alone in a dark room in front of a video screen.

A woman who calls herself “Hooker For Jesus” got married in Las Vegas to a singer in a Christian heavy metal band. The marriage was performed by Reverend for Rastafarians and witnessed by Best Man For Buddha and Maid of Honor for Muslims.

Two astronauts on the International Space Station tested some new Russian-made suits during a five hour spacewalk. Everything worked great, especially the system that recycles sweat into a quick vodka cocktail.

While in Paris, President Barack Obama and first lady, Michelle, dined at a cozy neighborhood bistro just a few blocks from the Eiffel Tower. It was a busy night for the Secret Service as agents had to keep throwing themselves between the president and other diners who were smoking.

The Canadian billionaire owner of Cirque du Soleil become the world's seventh space tourist when he blasts off into space on a Russian Soyuz spacecraft in September. To keep from getting bored in space, he plans to hide one of those tiny Chinese gymnasts in his pocket.

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