Friday, June 12, 2009

Recreating a Monty Python sketch

In preparation for him taking over for his father, the youngest son of North Korea's leader Kim Jong Il has been given the title of “Brilliant Comrade.” After giving her mom advice on how to deal with David Letterman, Sarah Palin bestowed the same title on her daughter, Willow.

Now that he’s done his time for his dogfighting convictions, Michael Vick has been released by the Atlanta Falcons. Vick is hoping to get picked up by any other NFL club, although he’s a little worried about the Cleveland Browns and their Dawg Pound.

In Leeds, England, a 7-foot-4-inch burglar was sentenced to 11 months in prison even though his lawyer said his tall stature would cause problems in prison. For example, dropping a bar of soap in the shower from that height could knock someone out.

A 10-year-old girl who played hooky from school to attend his town hall meeting in Green Bay, Wisconsin, got a written excuse for her teacher signed by President Obama. This is nothing new. He’s written hundreds of similar excuses for Bill Clinton to give to Hillary.

The conversion from analog to digital TV service left more than a million people staring at a blank screen. Many who had lost their remotes and had no other way to turn off Bill O’Reilly were grateful.

A Michigan man was charged with home invasion after a neighbor said she found him in her car wearing just a purple bra and boxer shorts. Police didn’t believe his alibi that he was merely recreating a Monty Python sketch.

President Obama says he’s ready to sign the landmark FDA tobacco regulation bill. Remember that little room next to the Oval Office where Bill Clinton used to meet Monica Lewinsky? It’s now filled with Obama’s stash of cigarettes.

Malawi‘s highest court has ruled that Madonna can adopt a 3-year-old girl named Chifundo “Mercy” James. The girl’s father apparently got his religious names mixed up because he kept saying, “Lord have mercy. Lord have mercy.”

Former President George W. Bush delivered a taped message to the troops serving in Iraq on one of the Baghdad broadcasts of “The Colbert Report.” He thanked them for being there and then he thanked his wife Laura for reminding him that they were still there.

A mixed black Lab named Jack who ran away from his owner in a Seattle park found and ate some marijuana and got high. The owner knew the dog was stoned because he forgot his name but came when he called him “Snoop.”

No comments:

Post a Comment