New Republican Senator Scott Brown voted with the Democrats to give President Obama’s jobs bill 62 votes and avoid a filibuster. Republican leaders were so upset, Brown woke up the next morning to find the head of his nude Cosmo photo in his bed.
Russian men’s figure skater Evgeni Plushenko is so upset about getting a silver medal instead of gold, he claims on his web site that he actually won a platinum medal. He’s hoping it will fool Russian leaders who are planning to send him to a Zamboni factory in Siberia.
Former vice president Dick Cheney seems to be doing OK after being checked into the hospital with chest pains. He managed to sit up on his own and waterboard three orderlies trying to get him to use a bedpan.
Sarah Palin will be one of Jay Leno’s first guests when the “Tonight Show” returns. She’s bringing her own comedy sketch to do with Jay, so Leno is busy practicing saying “Who’s there?” and “Sarah who?”
Bristol Palin will make her acting debut on an upcoming episode of “The Secret Life of the American Teenager,” a show about the consequences of teen pregnancy. Although she’ll be playing herself, she’ll show her acting ability by acting like she knows what she’s talking about.
A rare copy of the first comic book featuring Superman sold at auction for a record $1 million. The previous record for the most money paid for a comic book was held by the publisher of Sarah Palin’s autobiography.
Iran has ordered airlines to use the term ‘Persian Gulf” rather than ‘Arabian Gulf” to describe the body of water separating Iran from the Arabian Peninsula or be banned from Iranian airspace. In a similar move after losing to the US in Olympics hockey, Canada ordered planes to use the term Canadian Gulf instead of the Great Lakes.
Authorities in Townsville, Australia, are warning residents to keep an eye out for crocodiles on the local golf course. They had planned to warn about a snake in the grass, but Tiger Woods pulled out of the Australian Open this year.
Posters for a touring production of the Broadway show “Avenue Q” were banned in Colorado Springs because they show the cleavage of a female puppet. Now you know where to go to get new outfits for your Amish Barbie.
According to a UN report, more than half of the people in the developing world are now cell phone subscribers. The most popular iPhone app in the developing world is “Find Americans Who Fall For Scams.”