Friday, February 12, 2010

Somewhere, a goat is crying

In an interview with ABC News, Osama bin Laden’s son, Omar, said that his father was the “most kind” of the jihadi terrorists he has known. That’s also the most popular message on Father’s Day cards from Afghanistan Greetings.

Walter Fredrick Morrison, the inventor of the Frisbee, passed away at age 90. After his arrival, angels finally found a good use for halos.

Walter Fredrick Morrison, the inventor of the Frisbee, passed away at age 90. To avoid problems, the funeral director will be serving food on sticks.

Marvel Comics has apologized to the Tea Party Movement for Captain America investigating a right-wing anti-government militia group at what looks like a Tea Party rally. It also denied that the wives of Republican politicians were the model for Invisible Woman.

The new Tiger Woods online golfing game is being promoted with the slogan, “Never Play Alone.” That’s different than Nike’s new slogan for Tiger, “Just Do It Alone.”

Police in North Vancouver, Canada, blew up a suspicious package and found out it contained a fishing rod. They believe it may have been sent by a mysterious terrorist group known as the Talibass.

According to a new survey, just 8 percent of Americans want their members of Congress in Washington re-elected. The other 92 percent don’t even want them thawed out.

The city of Rome had its first real snowfall in more than two decades. They blame it on a mistake in a note sent to the pope requesting he pray for snow for Italian skiers competing in the Winter Olympics.

A high-end British supermarket is now selling toilet paper made with cashmere. Somewhere, a goat is crying.

A Wal-Mart in South Kitsap, Washington, had to be evacuated after a man allegedly made customers sick with chemicals labeled “Stink Bombs” and “Super Fart Spray.” Store management didn’t call for help right away because they thought the smell was coming from the door greeters.

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