Monday, February 8, 2010

XLVI is also Wynonna’s T-shirt size

In elections over the weekend, Costa Ricans elected their first woman president. When asked for their reaction, most Americans said either “Is she hot? “ or “Costa Rica? Is that a Hispanic wholesale club?”

The Super Bowl was watched by more than 106 million people, surpassing the 1983 finale of "M-A-S-H" to become the most-watched program in television history. Coincidentally, did anyone else notice that Pete Townsend and Corporal Klinger have the same nose?

All of the clothes made in case the Colts won the Super Bowl will go to areas in need in earthquake-damaged Haiti. Haven't these poor people suffered enough?

Toyota announced a recall of about 300,000 Prius hybrids worldwide because of a brake problem. Turns out they tried to keep the braking problem a secret but somebody squealed.

Scandal-plagued beauty queen Carrie Prejean is engaged to St. Louis Rams quarterback Kyle Boller. He may change his mind when she tells him why he can’t put his hands by the center’s crotch anymore.

Turns out Sarah Palin had crib notes written on her hand while she was criticizing President Obama for using a teleprompter. I can’t wait until her next press conference when a reporter asks her: “Hey Sarah? How’s that checkie palmy thing goin’ for ya?”

Authorities in the Philippines say at least six people have been killed in the past decade for singing “My Way” in a karaoke bar. That includes one poor guy whose last words were “Highway! I was going to sing “Highway to Hell!”

Country music singer Wynonna Judd announced she’s getting back together with her mom, Naomi, for a reunion tour by The Judds. They’re hoping to do the halftime show for next year’s Super Bowl XLVI since XLVI is also Wynonna’s T-shirt size.

Kristin Davis, the so-called “Manhattan Madam” who helped bring down Elliot Spitzer, says she plans to run as a Libertarian in the race for governor of New York. She hasn’t picked a slogan yet but it’s a good bet it will include the words “all the way.”

Scientists in Italy have bred a strain of chocolate-craving mice that love chocolate so much, they will tolerate electric shocks to pursue it. They’re called females.

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