A new Fish and Wildlife Service study found that one out of five Americans was involved in birdwatching during 2006, contributing $36 billion to the nation's economy. Unfortunately, all the money is gone because one out of five Americans was watching birds instead of banks.
Jessica Simpsom claims she was completely taken by surprise when boyfriend Tony Romo dumped her. She should have gotten a clue when Romo brought her the sports page and all the stories about Steve McNair were cut out.
Catherine Crabill, a Republican running for state office in Virginid in a speech that if the ballot box doesn’t work, “we have to resort to the bullet box.” Virginians are hoping she doesn’t find out that you have to take the bullets out of the box before they work.
NASA and a Hollywood film restoration company have digitally refurbished television video copies of what Apollo 11 beamed back from the moon and made the pictures look sharper. According to conspiracy theorists, now you can clearly see Neil Armstrong reading his famous “One small step” speech from a cue card.
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is asking the Iowa Sate Fair to use a non-dairy spread instead of butter for a sculpture of Michael Jackson. Ironically, no one suggested using chocolate ice cream.
Police in Louisiana arrested a woman who allegedly stabbed her female roommate for requesting she not walk around their apartment in the nude. The cops rushed to the scene after receiving over 100 911 calls from the men’s gym across the street from the apartment’s open window.
A California ice cream shop is experimenting with non-traditional flavors such as beer, bacon and jalapeno. Beer seems to be the least popular, since it gives an ice cream headache followed by a hangover.
A woman in Italy preparing to become a nun is suing her ex-boyfriend to have a topless photo of her removed from his Facebook page. She found out about it after being heavily recruited by a resort parish called Our Lady of Perpetual Tan Lines.
The Sears Tower, America’s tallest building, was officially named the Willis Tower this week in a ceremony in downtown Chicago. The sign in front of the building is already falling apart because workers assembling it were not allowed to use genuine Craftsman tools.
New York Observer owner Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump announced on Twitter that they’re engaged. Their families won’t let them get married until Ivanka converts to Judaism and the Donald finds a yarmulke that won’t mess up his comb-over.
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