Thursday, July 23, 2009

You can’t put lipstick on a Pig War

Time Square’s famous Naked Cowboy announced he’s running for mayor of New York City. You don’t have to worry about him sneaking off to Argentina because the airlines won’t let you fly in just your underpants.

The House of Representatives is considering a commemoration of the 150th anniversary of the Pig War, a conflict between the U.S. and Britain started over a dead pig. President Obama is against trying to make the conflict look good since you can’t put lipstick on a Pig War.

Gidget, the Chihuahua who starred in numerous Taco Bell commercials, has died at the age of 15. She eventually became a vegetarian because she thought the commercials were saying to think outside the “bone.”

Nordstrom, Inc. has signed a deal to sell an exclusive fashion and jewelry collection inspired by the “Twilight” movies. The jewelry looks like their regular line except the necklaces leave a mark.

Texas billionaire T. Boone Pickens admitted he took a slab of driveway concrete bearing his signature from an Oklahoma home that once belonged to his grandmother. Being a sentimental oil man, he also took a big chunk where he used to park his leaky Chevy.

According to a new study, Japanese researchers found that the scent of plants like lemon, mango and lavender reduce stress. Unless you’re getting a whiff from the stuff you’re about to use to clean the toilet.

First lady Michelle Obama and daughters Malia and Sasha took a tour of Luray Caverns in Virginia. It was part of a fact-finding mission to find places to hide from Joe Biden.

Before punching in to work, some railroad employees in Japan must pass a smile test administered by a laptop computer equipped with a digital camera. So far it’s weeded out grumpy employees and ones who eat Oreos for breakfast.

Following the death of Walter Cronkite, an online poll conducted by Time Magazine found that America's Most Trusted Newscaster is now Jon Stewart. Stewart received 44 percent of the vote, which coincidentally is the same amount of people who think Walter Cronkite was the husband on “Maude.”

Mark Buehrle of the Chicago White Sox pitched a perfect game against the Tampa Devil Rays. His first call was from President Obama, who wanted to know where he was when he was looking for tips before throwing out the first ball at the All-Star game.

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