Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Spudzi Scheme

In an interview on Thai television, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said she’s not thinking about running for president again, but she wouldn’t quite rule it out. It all hinges on whether the rules get changed and the DNC stops paying for her campaign pantsuits.

Dick Cheney’s daughter Liz told Larry King she supports the so-called “birther” conspiracy theory which questions whether President Obama is a U.S. citizen. She prefers that elected officials be like her father … born in America and kept alive using genuine GM parts.

Actor Stephen Baldwin filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection claiming he owes more than $2.3 million. His only job prospect fell through when Tina Fey refused to turn “30 Rock” into a cop show and hire him as his brother’s stunt double.

Vice President Joe Biden was welcomed by the leaders of Georgia on his tour of former Soviet republics. It was a contrast to the visit from President Bush which went downhill after he started yelling, “Go Bulldogs!”

The Manhattan district attorney's office has dropped misdemeanor assault charges against Kiefer Sutherland for allegedly head-butting a fashion designer in a nightclub. The victim settled after Kiefer promised that, in the next season of “24,” Jack Bauer would save the world from ugly suits.

President Obama is still getting grief for the “dad jeans” he wore to throw out the first pitch at the All-Star game. His daughters asked him to change the date of Father’s Day to next weekend so they can give him some low-riders.

A California teenager has written an iPhone app called "A Note to God" which allows users to send their prayers into cyberspace. People who don’t have iPhones have to send their prayers to God the old-fashioned way … with a tin can connected to a really long string.

Police in Germany arrested a man for allegedly conning people into buying potatoes disguised as iPods, laptop computers and camera equipment. This crime is known in Germany as a “Spudzi Scheme.”

The Italian Coast Guard seized a Maserati convertible that two men had converted into a boat because it wasn’t seaworthy. This marks the first time this year that an auto industry bailout was accomplished using just a bucket.

Police in Virginia are looking for a gang of thieves who robbed at least five Kmart stores by posing as cleaning crews. This caught the attention of Kmart shoppers who were shocked to find out the stores are actually cleaned.

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