Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Bagel Monster or Oscar the Goyim

Stand-up comic Sunda Croonquist is being sued by her Jewish mother-in-law for joking about her in her act. If the mother-in-law wins the lawsuit, the Las Vegas strip is expected to dim its lights and lower flags to half-staff.

No one was seriously hurt when a small plane crash-landed in the parking lot of a shopping mall in Rockaway Township, New Jersey. However, dozens were hurt in a fight over whether the plane should be allowed to park in the handicapped space.

The cable channel A&E announced plans to produce a reality show starring the late singer Michael Jackson's brothers. I think it’s called Dancing With The Out-of-Work Brothers of a Star.

“30 Rock” star Alec Baldwin says he has no plans to move to Connecticut to run against Senator Joe Lieberman. Lieberman was relieved, but he’s still concerned over a rumor that Tina Fey might run against him as Sarah Palin.

Texas prison officials say they’ve recovered all of the $250 federal economic stimulus checks that were mistakenly sent to at least 240 prison inmates. It was an honest mistake. The checks were supposed to go to bank executives whose crimes haven’t been prosecuted yet.

The Transportation Department reports that the Cash for Clunkers program generated nearly 700,000 new car sales. That makes it the best sales tool since General Motors invented the phrase “Let me check with my manager.”

China’s Health Ministry has admitted that the majority of transplanted organs in that country come from executed prisoners. This explains why so many Chinese organ recipients get a sudden urge to change their names to Chankenstein.

Microsoft issued an apology for altering a photo on its Web site in Poland to change the race of one of the people shown in the picture from black to white. What’s even more embarrassing, it used Photoshop instead of Paint.NET.

Ben Stiller, Christina Applegate and other stars will join the Muppet Grover on a new Sesame Street-style show for teaching Jewish-American children about Jewish culture called “Shalom Sesame.” No word yet on whether Grover will be joined by Bagel Monster or Oscar the Goyim.

John Schnatter, the founder of Papa John’s Pizza, paid $250,000 for the gold-and-black 1971 Chevrolet Camaro Z28 he sold for $2,800 in 1983 to help save his father’s tavern and start his pizza business. He almost didn’t buy it when DNA tests revealed that the stains on the front seat were from Domino’s.

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