Wednesday, August 12, 2009


The State Department is still trying to explain Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton's outburst towards a questioner who appeared to be asking her for her husband’s opinion on an issue. The latest excuse is that the she became light-headed when the African heat made her pantsuit shrink and cut off circulation to her brain.

The Iraqi national baseball team, which has been using the same bat for four years, received a supply of new bats, mitts and baseballs from a U.S. sporting goods company. Unfortunately, their religion forced them to send back the steroids because they’re weren’t kosher.

The Writers Guild West has cleared Jay Leno of violating the guild's strike rules during the 100-day work stoppage in late 2007. Jay will have no comment on the ruling until September when he has writers again.

Botanists have discovered a new species of giant meat-eating plant in the highlands of the central Philippines that’s big enough to catch rats. The rats must not taste that great by themselves because the carnivorous vines are generally found near pepper, tomato and lettuce plants.

A swimming pool in Paris refused admission to a young Muslim woman wearing a burqini, a full body swimsuit with built-in hood, because it violated the pool’s rule for “swimming while clothed.” The pool’s management says the rule isn’t discriminatory because it’s also used to ban really hairy men.

An archaeologist claims he's located the grave of a man who was killed in an 1806 duel with Andrew Jackson in Kentucky where dueling was legal. This didn’t prevent Jackson from being elected president, which has prompted a number of Republican politicians to start looking for a state where affairs are legal.

The host of a popular Brazilian TV crime show has been accused of ordering at least five hits on drug traffickers to boost his show’s ratings. He’s been charged with drug trafficking, weapons possession and impersonating Glenn Beck.

A number of companies, including the makers of Off! Bug spray, have dropped their ads on Fox News Channel's "The Glenn Beck Program" after complaints by viewers. Beck doesn’t use Off!, preferring to repel bugs naturally by showing them clips of his show.

Former Senator Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania says he’ll visit Iowa this fall, prompting rumors of a 2012 Republican presidential run. Santorum is taking along a special voice coach to help keep his jaw from cramping during constant repetitions of the phrase “death panel.”

A jury in Louisiana found rapper Corey "C-Murder" Miller guilty of second-degree murder in the 2002 shooting death of a teenage fan in a nightclub. His lawyer asked the judge to delay sentencing until his client can change his name to “C-I-Had-A-Terrible-Childhood.”

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