Saturday, August 8, 2009

People say she was just monkeying around

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford says he supports his wife's decision to move out of the governor's mansion because he had an affair with an Argentine woman. She took half of everything, including the half of the Bible he didn’t read.

U.S. Rep. Thaddeus McCotter, has introduced legislation to create a tax deduction for what pet owners spend on veterinary care, but he’s against national health care reform. In a related story, novelty shops report sales of dog, cat and hamster costumes way up.

Ben Stein was fired by the New York Times over his appearance in commercials for, a company that charges for so-called “free” credit reports. Ben’s next project is getting together his former cast mates from “The Wonder Years” for a free pay-per-view reunion.

Jay Leno says his hospitalization for exhaustion in April convinced him to start running four miles a day and so far he’s lost 12 pounds. Big deal. All he has to do is lean forward and the weight of his chin gives him enough momentum for a marathon.

The wife of Monkees drummer Micky Dolenz was arrested on charges that she defrauded an affordable housing program in New York City. She’s hoping her husband rounds up some people to say she was just monkeying around.

A bride in China says her 7,093-foot-long wedding dress is a world record. Elizabeth Taylor claims her wedding train is longer, but that’s only if you string all of her dresses end-to-end.

Madonna's concert planned for Ljubljana's Stozice horse track in Slovenia has been canceled due to “unexpected logistical problems.” Apparently Madonna refused to give free rides to all of the jockeys.

A private plane carrying Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore was forced to return to the Las Vegas airport shortly after takeoff due to mechanical problems, and both of them Twittered their fans during the ordeal. The first posts were 140 characters using nothing but the characters A, H and !.

A man in Florida arrested for having more than 1,000 images of child pornography on his computer blamed them on his cat who likes to walk across his keyboard and accidentally download pictures. Authorities brought the cat in for questioning after noticing a lot of the photos were from Persia.

Archaeologists have uncovered what is believed to be the birthplace of Vespasian, the Roman emperor who built the Colosseum. They think it’s his because they found a box with a bunch of toy lions and Christians.

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