Thursday, August 6, 2009

Trade the 40 young goats for one old one

Four women quit a new female wrestling team in Diwaniya, Iraq, south of Baghdad, because a cleric said that wrestling can lead to promiscuity. The coach is pretty upset because they were his best wrestlers: The Fabulous Fallujah, Iraqin’ Robin, Big Burka and The Roadside Bombshell.

According to the latest polls, President Obama’s approval rating dropped 7 points to 56 percent. The results are questionable because pollsters in southern states printed their surveys on the back of fake birth certificates.

A Spanish toymaker has developed a breast-feeding doll that comes with a special halter top little girls can wear to pretend to breast-feed their babies. If that’s not creepy enough, once the little girls get tired of playing with the dolls, they still want to keep the big breasts.

The Senate confirmed Sonia Sotomayor as the first Hispanic justice on the Supreme Court with a 68-31 vote. The 31 senators on the losing side felt vindicated when Sotomayor gave them no sympathy.

A Kenyan man offered Hillary Clinton 40 goats and 20 cows for he daughter Chelsea Clinton's hand in marriage. Hillary turned him down but Bill called and asked the guy if he’d trade the 40 young goats for one old one.

Aerosmith’s lead singer Steven Tyler is recovering after falling off the stage during a concert at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally. Tyler doesn’t have any trouble dancing backwards, but he was leaning forward and the weight of his teeth tipped him over.

A South Korean hypnotist was fined for kissing a woman he took out on a date and thought he had successfully put to sleep. Poor guy had never been married so he couldn’t tell that the woman was faking it.

New ads on Brazilian TV tell Brazilians that if they urinate in the shower instead of flushing it down the commode, a household can save over 1,100 gallons of water a year. If Brazilians have trouble getting the flow going, they’re told to imagine the person they’re showering with is a tree.

Appearing at the annual Television Critics Association get-together, Jay Leno said he lost weight by running four miles a day. He tried Jay-walking, but was constantly being stopped by people begging him to ask them a question.

Sprint and Samsung have joined forces to develop a $50 “eco-conscious” with a casing of biodegradable plastic made partly from corn. So far, the main problem is that the corn makes voices sound husky.

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