Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Get a piece of the Rolling Rock

After being cancelled by NBC, the psychic crime chow show “Medium” has been picked up by CBS. CBS picked it up because, even though its audience is small, Medium’s well done.

An international team of scientists has discovered a 47 million year old fossil that shows how primates began evolving into our earliest human ancestors. The first sign is that the fossil was holding a rock shaped like a gun.

Disgraced NFL star Michael Vick left a Kansas prison to begin home confinement in Virginia, where he’ll be allowed to leave only to work at a $10-an-hour job. So it looks like the NFL is letting him back to quarterback the Lions.

The owner of the Atlanta Falcons says Michael Vick has paid his debt to society and deserves a second chance. Vick is hoping to get back in shape by working out with any college team whose mascot isn’t a bulldog.

Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson was the surprise winner of “Dancing with the Stars” over the judges’ favorite, actor Gilles Marini. Gilles is hoping to take what he learned and pitch his own dance show to the network called “Steps and the City.”

The Senate is considering a $2 per case increase in the tax on beer to help pay for health insurance for uninsured Americans. Prudential plans to promote health insurance paid for by the beer tax as “getting a piece of the Rolling Rock.”

Police in Iowa City arrested a man who attempted to swallow a plastic bag of marijuana to avoid drug charges. The police station has been swamped with calls from dental hygienists offering to clean his teeth.,

According to a new study, the same part of the brain that makes us crave food and sex may also help determine whether somebody is a warm and fuzzy "people" person. If that’s the case, why isn’t Dick Cheney an anorexic bachelor?

An Oregon man who was arrested for walking out of jury duty told police he left the courthouse because he was “extremely bored.” Well, if he ends up fighting the charges and going to trial, at least he’ll get a jury of his peers.

The Oxygen network announced a new dance-and-weight loss show called "Dance Your Ass Off: The Weight is Over” hosted by Tony Award-winning actress and former "Dancing with the Stars" competitor Marissa Jaret Winokur. Now they’re looking for overweight contestants who want to work off the salsa with salsa.

Former child actor Mason Reese, best known for his Underwood Deviled Ham commercials in the 1970s, is opening a bar in New York called the Destination Bar and Grille. Former child stars can drink there free provided they bring proof their parents stole all of their money.

A New York man who purchased dentures for his business partner is accused of taking the false teeth back at gunpoint. The man was arrested after the partner with no teeth hired a gumshoe.

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