Sunday, May 17, 2009

National Organization of Whinnies

Rachel Alexandra is the first filly in 85 years to win Preakness Stakes, the second leg of horse racing’s Triple Crown. She’s the toast of the filly branch of NOW: the National Organization of Whinnies.

In her debut as a commencement speaker, First lady Michelle Obama told graduating seniors at UC Merced to give back to their communities. Being typical seniors, they can start by giving back all the furniture they took from their dorm rooms.

President Barack Obama was a soccer dad over the weekend as he watched daughters Malia and Sasha play in separate soccer games. He only embarrassed the girls once … when he stood behind their opponents’ goal, forcing Secret Service agents to stand in front and throw themselves in front of incoming shots.

Police in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, say a 17-year-old tried to rob a store with a banana and then ate before they got there. Although it wasn’t a real gun, the NRA plans to help him a-peel the charge.

A woman in Canada was handcuffed and detained for disobeying a police officer's order to hold the rail on an escalator in the Montreal Metro. If the escalators in Montreal are as slow as the ones in New York, she probably thought she was on a stairway.

“The Producers,” a musical about a musical named “Springtime for Hitler,” opened for the first time in Berlin to enthusiastic audiences. To be on the safe side, theater-goers were searched for guns, protest signs and pads for taking notes.

Artist Antony Gormley wants to have 2,400 people pose as living statues in London's Trafalgar Square for his next exhibit. How do you get 2,400 people in England to stand still for an hour? Tell them they’re in line for free tea and crumpets.

About 15,000 Fiat workers marched in Turin, Italy, to demand job guarantees if the company merges with Chrysler and Opel. The Fiat workers were supposed to carry picket signs, but nails rusted and the signs fell apart.

According to a study conducted at the University of Florida, good-looking people make more money, are better educated and feel more confident that plain-looking people. As proof, the scientists who conducted the study refused to put their pictures on it.

British pest-control experts say the country’s poison-resistant rat population has risen to an estimated 80 million -- an increase of more than 200 percent since 2007. What’s the big surprise? They’ve had to build up a resistance to poison because even rats won’t eat English food.

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