Insurance giant AIG is paying its executives $165 million in bonuses even though it received a taxpayer bailout of more than $170 billion dollars. AIG now stands for Another Idiotic Giveaway.
Chaos broke out outside the Park Central New York hotel in Manhattan when hundreds of wannabe models waiting to audition for “America's Next Top Model” started fighting. Apparently it all began when someone dropped a cookie and they all dove for it.
In his weekly address, President Obama told China that it should have “absolute confidence” that its sizable investments in the United States are safe. China would have more confidence if Americans knew the name of one other Chinese leader besides General Tso.
President Obama nominated former New York City Health Commissioner Margaret Hamburg as the head of the Food and Drug Administration. Hamburg is expected to cut out pork at the agency and work closely with Barney Frank.
While meeting with Brazil's President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, President Obama said he’d love to visit Brazil and travel down the Amazon, but he suspected the Republicans would want him to get lost there. Rush Limbaugh responded that if Obama takes a boat trip down the Amazon, he hopes he sails.
A rare copy of the 1938 edition of Action Comics No. 1, the first comic book featuring Superman, sold at an auction for $317,200. Bidding was expected to be higher, but a number of people dropped out when they found out Superman’s real identity wasn’t Barack Obama.
In Portland, Oregon, an elementary school principal banned a fifth-grader from wearing a Barack Obama mask while singing a rap song in the school's talent show. This was a big disappointment to the little girl who was planning to wear a Sarah Palin mask and accuse him of palling around with the school bully.
A Wisconsin interstate was shut down after two semi-trailer trucks collided and 3,000 pounds of sausages fell out of one truck. No one was hurt in the crash, but a number of Wisconsin drivers scraped their tongues licking the pavement.
George Clooney says he doesn’t like the idea that the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wants to develop a flavored tofu called CloFu that is based on the smell of his sweat found on a discarded gym towel. You don’t want to know what PETA is using for another flavor called HoFu.
Its publisher says demand for an upcoming biographical comic book about First Lady Michelle Obama is overwhelming. Like the real first lady, comic book superhero Michele Obama fights evil by warding off bad guys with her muscular arms.
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