Wednesday, March 25, 2009

An Oscar with a beer can crushed against his forehead

AIG executive vice president Jake DeSantis sent his letter of resignation to CEO Edward M. Liddy to the New York Times editorial page. The letter was reprinted in newspapers across the country along with an ad from a company making the world’s tiniest violins.

According to a new poll, about one-third of Americans under the age of 40 believe that shows like The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are replacing "traditional" news outlets. What’s worse, the other two-thirds believe that the traditional news outlets are being replaced by asking their moms.

Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa are being sued by their former housekeeper, who claims they’re tough to work with. In a show of solidarity, her legal fees are being paid by the rest of the Lakers.

In France, striking workers at a 3M factory held their boss hostage to protest layoffs and cutbacks. They couldn’t ask for much of a ransom since all they had to write on was a Post-It note.

A watercolor self-portrait of Adolf Hitler, thought to be the first he ever painted, is going up for auction next month. It comes with a note written by Hitler threatening imprisonment to anyone who points out that he painted outside the lines.

Dennis Quaid and Julianne Moore have been picked to play Bill and Hillary Clinton in a movie HBO is working on called “The Special Relationship.” To get ready for the role, Quaid has been watching one of earlier films, “Great balls of Fire!”

A New York construction worker played the last three digits of Bernie Madoff’s prison number in the state lottery and won $1,500. The next day he got a letter carved in soap from Madoff demanding a cut.

Police in Huntington beach, California, are looking for a woman who used a false identity to get breast implants and liposuction and then skipped town. Based on her doctor’s description, be on the lookout for a woman resembling two balloons on a stick.

Forestry officials in far western China are using abortion pills to stop a plague of wild gerbils threatening the area’s ecosystem. The use of the abortion pills has been condemned by Pope Benedict, who has a soft spot for a rodent named Ben.

School distracts across the country are switching to new standards-based report cards that use the number 1 through 4 instead of letter grades. At the request of former president George W. Bush, some schools also allow fractions between 0 and 1.

In an interview in AARP The Magazine, 63-year-old Dolly Parton says she has no plans to retire. However, she now limits herself to concert venues with tiltable stages so she doesn’t tip over.

A research firm named Nashville the country’s “Manliest City” because it has a lot of monster truck rallies and not many minivans. The trophy looks like an Oscar only with a beer can crushed against his forehead.

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