The booking agent for John Edwards says he's canceled all public commitments until after the November U.S. elections. If you already had Edwards booked and you’re looking for a replacement who gives a similar speech, you might want to call Levi Johnston.
According to the Labor Department’s latest figures, the nation's unemployment rate zoomed to a five-year high of 6.1 percent in August as employers slashed 84,000 jobs. The report was incomplete because many of those jobs belonged to poll-takers.
The Port Authority of New York and New Jersey caught the driver of a tractor-trailer who rigged the front license plate of his vehicle so that it would disappear as he drove through toll plazas, allowing him to avoid paying the $40 fee. He’ll be charged with toll evasion, license plate destruction and giving other drivers a good idea.
Vanity Fair magazine reports that the outfit Cindy McCain wore for her speech at the Republican convention cost an estimated $313,100. No wonder her husband doesn’t know how many houses he owns. She sold one of them to pay for her dress.
Lobbyist Jack Abramoff was sentenced to an additional four years in prison for his role in the Washington corruption scandal. Hoping to salvage his career once he gets out, Abramoff asked the judge if he could serve those four years in the Hanoi Hilton.
Bob Woodward's latest book on President Bush reveals that the U.S. has spied on Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki and other Iraqi leaders. According to al-Maliki, this explains why the pizza parlor always seems to know what he’s calling to order.
A UPS driver in East Texas has recorded one million accident-free miles on the delivery van he’s been driving for the past 22 years. That total includes a number of high-speed chases by jealous FedEx drivers.
A guitar that Jimi Hendrix set on fire during a concert in London was sold at auction recently for $497,500. What a waste. That money should have been spent on bribing most of today’s players to burn their guitars for good.
According to a new federal science report, smog, soot and other particles often seen hanging over Beijing add to global warming and may raise summer temperatures in the U.S. by three degrees in about 50 years. President Bush doesn’t believe the report but, to be on the safe side, he’s pushing for Beijing to be named the permanent host of the Summer Olympics so it eliminates all cars and factories.
British scientists have developed a new crime-fighting technique that allows police to lift fingerprints from bullets even if a criminal has wiped down a shell casing. There goes Dick Cheney’s plans to go fox-hunting in London.
The Fish and Wildlife Service says it’s too late to recall the “duck stamps” affixed to cards carried by hunters licensed to hunt ducks that contain a misprinted number belonging to a phone-sex line. Ducks are hoping this will give hunters something else to do besides shooting ducks.
U.S. Coast Guard officers were called to stop a pilot-less boat from spinning in circles at Virginia Beach after its two occupants fell overboard. Do you know what sailors call a pilot-less ship going around in circles? Congress.
The Journal of Sexual Medicine reports that trained sexologists can spot women who have frequent orgasms by the way they walk. This is no big secret. Women who have frequent orgasms walk fast, especially if they’re just leaving a sex toy shop.
No comments:
Post a Comment