Monday, August 3, 2009

Honk if you love humans

According to a new survey, nearly 90 percent of U.S. adults prefer dealing with people face-to-face rather than on Facebook. The other 10 percent are convinced no one can tell their picture has been Photoshopped.

Data from the Consumer Product Safety Commission shows that cheerleading is still the top cause of injury in young female athletes. The most serious injuries occur when walking past the football team’s dorm in their cheerleader outfits.

In a recent interview, Ryan O’Neal revealed that he hit on his own daughter, Tatum, after not recognizing her at Farrah Fawcett’s funeral. What’s worse, Tatum didn’t recognize him either when she turned him down by saying he was old enough to be her grandfather.

Sarah Palin's spokespeople continue to deny Internet reports that she and her husband, Todd, are getting a divorce. To prove it, Sarah and Todd were spotted at a Wasila gun shop trading in their moose rifles for matching blogger guns.

The so-called “birther” movement is now pointing to an alleged Kenyan birth certificate as proof that President Obama was not born in the U.S. This document is so full of errors, it looks like it came from the “after” ad for correction fluid.

A man in Virginia got a jaywalking ticket for helping a family of Canada geese cross a busy street. The geese are trying to rally support for the man by passing out bumper stickers to other geese that read, “Honk if you love humans.”

Organizers of a British attempt at a world record for the most bikini-wearing women photographed in one place missed the record by around 1,900 when only 42 women showed up. Their first mistake was offering any woman who showed up in a bikini a free serving of that British dessert, spotted dick.

The Obama administration is considering a move to convince Iran so shut down its nuclear program by cutting off gasoline imports to that country. Since Iran’s oil reserves are the second-largest in the world, this is like trying to convince politicians to stop having affairs by banning foreign women.

Officials of the Hungarian Football Association are refusing to allow Madonna to perform at Budapest's soccer stadium. Besides messing up the field, they’re afraid the players would get depressed when they compare their skinny arms to Madonna’s.

British candy maker Cadbury is bringing back its Wispa Gold chocolate bar with a gold leaf-covered special edition bar priced at $1,618 chocolate. It’s safely on display in a vending machine that only takes wire transfers from Swiss banks.

A man in North Babylon, N.Y., swung at nearly 7,000 baseball pitches for 13 1/2 hours during a failed attempt to break a Guinness world record. He was cheered up when a Major League Baseball official said that his total number of missed swings qualified him as an honorary Washington National.

Ford Motor Company claims the government’s cash-for-clunkers program helped it record its first monthly sales increase in nearly two years. On the other hand, General Motors dealers were disappointed when prospective buyers parked their clunkers next to the new models and couldn’t tell them apart.

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