According to her friends, Alaska governor Sarah Palin resigned because she’s been losing weight and her hair is falling out. Poor Sarah wants to run for president but she doesn’t want to do it looking like John McCain.
American Idol host Ryan Seacrest signed a 3-year, $45million deal to stay with the show. That breaks down to $15 million a year or 15 bucks for every time insults him.
Former Vice President Dick Cheney’s daughter Liz says she’s thinking about running for office. She won’t say which one, but her dad told her to make sure it has secret powers, an undisclosed hideout and an unlimited supply of water.
In her latest interview, Sarah Palin says shell campaign for Republicans, independents and even Democrats who share her values. So far, no Democratic candidates have asked for her help, but a few have called to see if she has Tina Fey’s number.
“Survivor” winner Richard Hatch, who's currently in home confinement for tax evasion, wants a judge to let him out early so he can be on the 10th anniversary edition of the show in Samoa next month. Why not just send a stand-in? Hatch spent so much time on the show naked and pixelized, nobody remembers what he looked like anyway.
Former Led Zeppelin lead singer Robert Plant was made a commander of the British Empire in London by Prince Edward. In a major faux pas, Plant left before the queen showed up to her do karaoke rendition of “Stairway to Heaven.”
News about the British royal family is now available via the new @BritishMonarchy Twitter account. The queen hasn’t Tweeted yet, but Prince Charles has already calculated how many characters he needs to tell Camilla he wants to live in her trousers.
Jackie Chan will play the wise kung-fu master and Jaden Smith, son of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith, will star in a remake of “The Karate Kid” called “The Kung Fu Kid.” That wasn’t the original title, but Jackie Chan refused to be in a movie called “The Fresh Prince of Beijing.”
Jill Biden, wife of Vice President Joe Biden, is recovering after having surgery to relieve her shoulder pain. She was given a local anesthetic … Joe stood next to her bed and gave a speech until she blacked out.
Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo broke up with his girlfriend Jessica Simpson the night before her 29th birthday, forcing her to cancel her Barbie-themed birthday party. Jessica pitched everything but the Ken dolls, which she dressed in little Cowboys’ jerseys and bit their heads off.
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