Hairy Governor and the Chamber of Senate

Because of the recession, brothels in German are offering customers the chance to sleep with as many prostitutes as they like for a single fee. If this were a porn movie, it would be called “Cheap Throat.”

Sources in the radio industry say Clear Channel has turned down Sarah Palin as a radio talk show host because it doesn’t think she can talk for three hours a day. They also feared what might happen if college students listening to the show started taking a drink every time Sarah said “You betcha.”

Last year, the Cleveland Indians traded CC Sabathia the year after he won the Cy Young Award. This week they did it again, trading reigning Cy Young winner Cliff Lee. If you’re keeping score, the symbol for this move is a “W” covered with correction fluid.

Michael Vick says he is getting close to signing with an NFL team. He won’t say which one, but umor has it the team’s initials are W-T-F.

The current Buick Open golf tournament will be the last one sponsored by General Motors. The younger golfers have been bugging Tom Watson all week to tell them what it was like in the old days when people actually bought Buicks.

Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich has finished his book about his impeachment and removal from office. He’s hoping to eventually turn it into a movie by calling it “Hairy Governor and the Chamber of Senate.”

The Swedish tax agency, which is in charge of Swedish baby names, has denied a family's request to have their newborn daughter named Michael after Michael Jackson because it’s a boy’s name. Following the same Jackson logic, the agency took away the baby girl’s favorite toy because “Blanket” is also a boy’s name.

Nine elderly men from a Virginia retirement community posed naked for a calendar to raise money for a local volunteer rescue squad. There were supposed to be three more, but the photographer showed up on the day the cafeteria served prunes.

Disney World has agreed to replace a toy sword and a toy gun taken from two young boys by Transportation Security Administration officers at a Fort Lauderdale airport. Now they need to give TSA a supply of Goofy hats.

Police officers in Calgary, Alberta – Canada’s self-proclaimed "Cowtown" – are turning in their police caps for white cowboy hats. The cops are just glad Calgary’s nickname isn’t “Beanie Town.”

Eight people named "John Doe" are on voter registration rolls in the state of New York. Seven of the men took the name as a joke while the eighth one only uses it when Hillary is out of town.