Fear of bad breath

The bodies of Rambo and JJ, two dead giraffes previously owned by Michael Jackson and buried on the Banjoko Wildlife Preserve in Arizona, had to be dug up and relocated because of complaints about the odor. Members of the Jackson family had been asked to deal with the giraffes, but none would stick their necks out.

A group of 25 white people living on a Mohawk reservation near Montreal have been given 10 days to move out. The problem started in a reservation sports bar during a game between the Expos and the Braves.

For security reasons, the NFL is telling Super Bowl attendees to minimize the number and size of all items carried into the stadium on Sunday. Some desperate fans are offering a free ticket to any woman willing to sit next to them wearing a size DDD flask bra.

Scientists at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine say they might have discovered a new way to trick the body into burning more fat. It involves an idea Einstein himself worked on using diet gelatin that he called the Theory of Jellotivity.

Wal-Mart announced it will lay off 300 people at its headquarters in Arkansas. They were notified by a figure wearing a long robe and a hood covering his yellow head known around Wal-Mart as the Grim Smiley Face.

Three top executives at Cadbury resigned after the candy maker's shareholders approved a takeover by Kraft Foods. The bitter employees were escorted off the premises after pummeling the building with Cadbury eggs.

President Barack Obama met with Senate Democrats and told them that in spite of the loss of one seat, “We still have to lead.” It was a bad sign when they all sat there waiting for him to tell them it was OK to go.

A 19-year-old New Zealand student auctioned her virginity online for $32,000 to raise money for her college tuition. Not surprisingly, she plans to study horticulture.

Iran announced it launched a rocket into space carrying a mouse, two turtles and worms. So it looks like the CIA was successful in its secret project to replace Iran’s astronaut training films with a copy of “The Cat From Outer Space.”

According to a new study, fish oil pills may be able to prevent psychosis. It won’t help if your psychosis is halitophobia, or the fear of bad breath.