Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Their large and painful bruised egos

Tiger Woods is scheduled to hold his first news conference in three months on Friday in the clubhouse at the headquarters of the PGA Tour in Florida. Just like after a PGA golf tournament, Tiger will be expected to verify his scorecard.

Tiger Woods is scheduled to hold his first news conference in three months on Friday in the clubhouse at the headquarters of the PGA Tour in Florida. The clubhouse is usually called the 19th Hole, but for this event they will add a couple of zeroes.

At a speech in Arkansas, Sarah Palin refered to Twitter as a “little twittering thing.” Coincidentally, that’s the same thing she said about Levi Johnston’s picture in Playgirl.

First Lady Michelle Obama will make her debut appearance on Fox News on Mike Huckabee’s show. Mrs. Obama will discuss cutting out sugary breakfasts in her childhood obesity campaign while Huckabee will defend the Republican position of “pro Life cereal.”

When Kim Kardashian found out she was seated next to an air marshal on a recent flight, she tweeted about it to her 3 million plus followers. After hearing this, even the ACLU is having second thoughts about torture.

The Daughters of the American Revolution are threatening to boycott Polo merchandise because the company didn’t put stars and stripes on the American Olympic uniforms. They also plan to boycott the biathlon unless competitors switch from rifles to muskets.

A television series on the Kennedy family being produced by Joel Surnow, the creator of the series “24,” is getting heat for being too critical. The worst part is the running clock showing how many women JFK had sex with in 24 hours.

A survey in England found that more than half a million British people only wash their bed sheets an average three times per year. If they sleep face down, it’s no wonder they have stiff upper lips.

An Arizona advertising company is the first to pay commuters $100 per month to drive around with ads on their cars. Body shop owners are kicking in an extra 50 bucks if the commuter drives a Toyota.

Lindsey Vonn overcame a large and painful bruise to win a gold medal in the Olympic downhill. Inspired by Vonn, President Obama is asking Democrats in Congress to overcome their large and painful bruised egos.

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