Law & Order: What A Concept

After 85 years, Tribune Media Services announced it will cease syndication of the comic strip “Annie” which began in 1924 as “Little Orphan Annie.” The strip was done in by Republican Party scandals which have given a bad name to young orphan girls being adopted by rich bald capitalists.

NBC has cancelled the original “Law & Order” after a 20-year run. It will be replaced by new series set in Arizona called “Law & Order: What A Concept.”

A bill to increase BP’s and other companies’ liability for oil spills from $75 million to $10 billion was defeated by Republican Senator Lisa Murkowski of Alaska. After the vote, Murkowski flew back to Alaska where BP is finishing a new pipeline that leads directly to her bank account.

BP CEO Tony Hayward said in an interview that the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico is “relatively tiny” compared to the “very big ocean.” Let’s hope he feels the same way about the jail sentence he gets which will be relatively tiny compared to the history of the universe.

Sarah Palin spoke at the National Rifle Association's annual meeting in North Carolina. Her topic was “Convincing commie liberals that it’s in their heritage to play Russian roulette.”

The owners of the Iowa site where the "Field of Dreams" movie was filmed have put the land up for sale. Tourists still see the ghost of Shoeless Joe Jackson, but now he’s got a ghost agent who demands 10% of the ticket sales.

Matt Lauer is denying reports that he cheated on his wife and moved out of the family home. The rumors started during the last episode of “Where in the World is Matt Lauer?” when his wife destroyed the only map of where he was hiding.

While President Obama was visiting Buffalo, a woman came up to him and said, “You're a hottie with a smokin' little body.” The president smiled and replied, “Thank you, but you already got the nomination, Elena.”

To help find a solution to the Gulf oil leak, Energy Secretary Steven Chu has brought in a team of scientists including a hydrogen bomb designer and a Mars mining expert. If they can’t fix it, Chu is down to Wiley Coyote and the Dutch kid who stuck his finger in the dike.

LeBron James isn’t saying whether he’ll stay with the Cleveland Cavaliers now that they’ve been eliminated from the playoffs again. However, it’s not a good sign that he got a new tattoo that reads “This space available.”