One giant four-letter-word-other-than-leap for mankind

Laura Bush said in an interview that she’s “really glad” that Elena Kagan has been nominated for the Supreme Court. Dick Cheney is trying to lure her to his place to see if the chip he had implanted in her brain has shorted out.

A 16-year-old Australian girl finished a seven-month voyage to become the youngest person to sail around the world solo. The hardest part of the trip was knowing she’d have over a million Facebook friend requests waiting for her when she got back.

A group of unhappy Facebook users are promoting a “Quit Facebook Day” on May 31 to protest the latest changes to the Facebook privacy policy. It has less than a thousand users committed so far, but over a million have joined the group “Let’s see if we can get a million people to do nothing about Facebook’s privacy policy.”

Iran has worked out an agreement to ship most of its low-enriched uranium to Turkey in return for fuel rods for a medical research reactor. Former President George W. Bush called President Obama and told him it was OK to use his “they hate our freedoms” excuse to attack Iran anyway.

BP says the mile-long tube it connected to its leaking well in the Gulf of Mexico is siphoning about a fifth of the oil that is spewing out. There hasn’t been this much excitement in Washington about a fifth since Ted Kennedy died.

Some scientists are estimating that the oil leak in the Gulf has sent a miles-long underwater plume of oil heading straight for the Florida Keys. Out of habit, Republican scientists in Florida are demanding a recount.

NBC announced it has cancelled “Heroes.” Fans who want to watch another show about seemingly normal people with secret super powers should tune in to “Wall Street Week.”

A New York animal shelter is seeking donations of Viagra to treat a pit bull with a heart condition who needs two pills a day. In a related story, owners of female dogs in New York are seeking donations of fences.

A partial power outage at the International Space Station briefly interrupted a spacewalk. The astronauts who were floating outside when it happened called it one small blackout for man, one giant four-letter-word-other-than-leap for mankind.

Animal welfare groups in England are outraged by a school fundraising contest that involves placing ferrets down the trousers of competitors. The teacher in charge of the contest says the ferrets would probably go to sleep, so they must be using married female ferrets.