Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Unicorn tortillas

Kate Middleton has quit her day job working as a web designer to focus on her upcoming marriage to Prince William. She didn’t want to quit, but it was easier than trying to explain to Wills what a “job” was.

Bristol Palin says she’s received a job offer to co-host a radio show in her new home state of Arizona. You can tell she’s a Palin because she’s looking forward to showing listeners the new dance steps she’s learned.

Former Republican Senator George Allen says he made up the word “macaca” that cost him the Virginia election in 2006. And if you don’t believe him, he says you’re a midiot.

A married Canadian man is making a documentary about his trip around the world with six life-size sex dolls for company. I don’t want to give away the ending, but it involves his wife, the sex dolls, sled dogs and six Lady Gaga meat dresses.

Before it was removed, the hottest video on YouTube showed a man filming himself lying on railroad tracks while a train passes over him. It was replaced with a video shot by a witness onboard called “Throw-up Mama From The Train.”

A woman named Kate Middleton was kicked off Facebook for having the same name as Prince William's fiancée. To get her account back and keep from being harassed by fans of the royal family, she’s changing her name top Camilla Parker-Bowles.

A town council in England is in trouble for plans to use its crematorium furnace to heat a swimming pool. They didn’t think any pool users would notice since you don’t feel the crematorium heat until you’re six feet under.

Some public restrooms in Tokyo are offering video games called Toylets with eye-level screens which are controlled by the aim and pressure of the player’s stream of urine. Those with prostate problems can play Gland Theft Auto.

A California company is working on a line of medical marijuana soft drinks with names like Canna Cola and Doc Weed. You can’t overdose but if you start to feel sluggish, the company recommends switching to 7-Uppers.

The owner of Boca Tacos and Tequila in Tuscon, Arizona, has decided to scrap plans to offer African lion meat in his tacos. Serving up endangered species hasn’t been a good idea since a medieval restaurant started offering unicorn tortillas.

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