Thursday, April 2, 2009

Soapy or Die

The British are still buzzing about Queen Elizabeth II breaking royal protocol and putting her arm around First Lady Michelle Obama in a rare display of affection. How rare was it? When Prince Phillip saw the hug, he asked President Obama what it was.

President Obama says he’ll join with South Korea to respond if North Korea goes ahead with a long-range rocket launch. To put this in perspective, this is kind of like a bug-zapper joining forces with a fly swatter to chase a mosquito.

The Hollywood Wax Museum is putting almost 200 wax figures up for auction, including James Dean, the Beatles, Marilyn Monroe and Bill Clinton. There hasn’t been this much wax up for sale in Hollywood since Joan Rivers stopped buying birthday cakes with candles.

The FBI and the Motion Picture Association of America are investigating how the unfinished movie “X-Men Origins:Wolverine” was leaked online. They estimate that only a few thousand people saw it, which still puts it ahead of “12 Rounds.”

BASF, the world's largest chemical maker, says it is testing a microorganism that can keep cavity-causing bacteria from attacking teeth and hopes to add it to toothpaste, mouthwash and even candy as early as next year. When asked to comment, four out of five dentists surveyed recommended that dental students change their major.

A pet shop in Connecticut has a baby bunny with two noses. The bunny twitches and wriggles twice as much as normal, which is why they named it Amy Winehouse.

An animal rights activist in Kansas bought a cow that escaped on its way to the slaughterhouse and is paying for a pasture where the cow can live out its days in peace. The animal rights activist is now swamped with calls from death row inmates claiming to be named Elsie.

Guards at a prison in Brazil caught inmates smuggling cell phones inside using trained carrier pigeons. The pigeons got caught when a few of them started using the cell phones while flying and ran into each other.

The Domino's pizza chain has given away nearly 11,000 free pizzas because someone discovered a never-used promotion that gave away a free medium pizza if you ordered online using the codeword “bailout.” Keeping with tradition, Domino’s said that if the instigators identified themselves in under 30 minutes, they would go free.

Carlos Santana has signed a contract to perform in Las Vegas at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino through 2010. He’s working on a new Vegas song called “Put Everything On Black Magic Woman.”

McDonald's is demanding that a Swedish strip club get rid of a sign featuring a large red “M” with nipples because it looks too much like the golden arches. What’s the problem? Both McDonald’s and the strippers have a dollar menu.

Solar physicists report that the sun is experiencing the least sunspot activity since 1913. This could explain why George Hamilton is starting to look a little pale.

CBS has cancelled the soap opera “Guiding Light” after a 72-year run on both television and radio. The cast is hoping it will be converted to an Internet show called “Soapy or Die.”

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