Who Moved Mein Kampf?

A popular video making the rounds on the Internet shows four men who performed a dance routine wearing only crispbread on the TV show “Sweden's Got Talent.” They lost points for using crispbread because the judges felt that everything is better when it sits on a Ritz.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton told the House Foreign Affairs Committee that Pakistan is becoming a “mortal threat” to the world. This was very similar to a speech she once gave to her husband when she said his affairs were becoming a moral threat to their world.

A declassified report reveals that the Bush administration did not research the “waterboarding” torture technique enough to realize it was found to be ineffective by U.S. trainers. That’s what happens when your research technique consists of asking “What would Jack Bauer do?”

A 14-year-old boy in Akron, Ohio, caught a four-foot-long alligator while fishing in a local lake. Alligators are not native to Ohio, so animal experts think it’s either a pet, a zoo animal or an unemployed auto worker’s attempt at starting a shoe store.

Police in Bartlett, Tenn., responded to a call about a woman screaming and loud gunshots and found a man watching TV at a really high volume. The case is already being turned into a pilot for a new show called “CSI: Punctured Eardrum Unit.”

A woman in Detroit survived being shot by burglars when the underwire in her bra deflected the bullet. If she was wearing a bra big enough to deflect bullets, she should have no trouble finding guys to give her a ride to the trial.

Computer security experts say they have discovered a “botnet” of 1.9 million secretly infected “zombie” PCs controlled by a Ukrainian cybergang. Fortunately, the experts were able to detect the botnet when they noticed the porn they downloaded at work seemed to be playing in slow-motion.

Word out of Detroit is that General Motors will close most of its U.S. factories for up to nine weeks this summer. Here’s my question. How will we tell?

In Colorado, shots were fired at TV bounty hunter Duane "Dog" Chapman and a bail bondsman when they tried to apprehend a man who skipped bail on an attempted murder charge. Proving you CAN teach an old dog new tricks, police at the scene say Dog learned how to play dead.

Bookstores in India say Adolf Hitler's “Mein Kampf” has become a popular book among students looking for tips on management. Actually, it’s a revised edition called “Who Moved Mein Kampf?”