The nation's unemployment rate jumped to 8.5 percent in March, the highest since late 1983. It’s actually a lot higher but the news is being suppressed by the company in India that the counting was farmed out to.
Boston's NBC affiliate says it will dump Jay Leno's new 10 p.m. talk show and run a local newscast instead. No one is saying who’s behind it but, on Leno’s first night with the new show, Letterman has booked the band Boston, the Boston Red Sox and a chef who makes Boston baked beans.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has found traces of a chemical used in rocket fuel in samples of powdered baby formula. The formula is popular in trailer parks where parents see it as the best way for their kids to grow up to be rocket scientists.
Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal's budget for next year proposes a big cut in arts funding. Jindal hopes this will stop all of the people painting pictures of him dressed as an intern on “30 Rock.”
At a town hall meeting in France, President Obama told European students that he doesn’t like the loss of “privacy and anonymity” that comes with being president. Finally, something he and Bill Clinton agree upon.
In Indiana, police investigating a possible meth lab found the recipe for making methamphetamine in a Bible on the last page of the Book of Revelation. Based on a note found in another part of the Bible, they’re looking for the drugs in the belly of a whale.
An Oregon company has ordered new packaging for its Peace Cereal after a typo on the box sent callers to a phone sex line instead of the cereal maker's 800 number. Before the mistake was found, the phone sex lady says she made a fortune talking to callers while bathing in a tub of milk for $1.99 a minute.
A man pleaded guilty to being a serial shrimp shoplifter at a New Hampshire supermarket after evidence showed he stole about $500 worth of shrimp in four separate trips. His lawyer convinced him the judge wouldn’t believe his story that he’s severely addicted to cocktail sauce.
Carlos Santana said in an interview that he think the government should “Legalize marijuana and take all that money and invest it in teachers and in education.” Carlos is so confident this will happen, he’s re-releasing all of his albums in LP form so his fans will have something to roll joints on.
At North America's largest cell phone trade show recently held in Las Vegas, almost all of the new phones had alphabet keyboards or touch screens instead of the old tradition numeric pads. Ironically, on the other side of town, hundreds of elderly people dragging oxygen tanks were listening to Steve and Eydie sing “Pennsylvania 6-500.”
Artificial intelligence researchers in Great Britain claim they have created robots that can reason, formulate theories and discover scientific knowledge on their own. These robots are so much like real scientists, they never comb their antennas, use tape to hold their electronic goggles together and shut down in front of female robots.
Madonna plans to continue her fight to adopt a second child from Malawi. She’s hoping the court will change its mind when she comes back with 100,000 free “Like A Virgin” T-shirts in size “malnourished.”
A Toronto weatherman recognized by the Guinness Book of World Records as the longest-working weatherman has finally retired after 48 years on the job. He retired in spite of the forecast by his wife that there’s a 100-percent chance he’ll drive her nuts.
The Montreal hotel suite where John Lennon and Yoko Ono staged an eight-day in-bed protest for peace 40 years ago is now available for rent at $599 a night. If that’s too much, for 50 bucks you can sleep on the trundle bed used by Ringo Starr.
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