Cash in on residents changing their locks

Insiders say Charlie Gibson is upset over the choice of Diane Sawyer as his replacement on ABC's “World News.” He should be grateful. Until she got the job on the Today Show, Jenna Bush Hager was in the running.

The mayor of Mount Vernon, Washington - Glenn Beck's home town - says he wants to give the talk show host the key to the city. Locksmiths from across the country are rushing to Mount Vernon to cash in on residents changing their locks.

One of the private security guards at the U.S. Embassy in Kabul, Afghanistan, says guards were pressured to participate in naked pool parties and perform sex acts to gain promotions or assignment to preferable shifts. So it looks like there’s a few jobs left that former Republican senator Larry Craig is qualified for.

Former Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling says he has “some interest” in running for the Massachusetts senate seat held for 47 years by Democratic Sen. Edward M. Kennedy. Besides putting a dent in the Senate’s Democratic majority, Republicans want Schilling’s arm for throwing spitballs at Harry Reid.

Don Imus has signed a contract to simulcast his radio program on the Fox Business Network. Imus is getting in shape for being a Fox broadcaster by remembering what it was like before he sobered up.

Identical twin brothers accused of committing two murders three years ago during a robbery in Florida could become the first U.S. twins sentenced to death. About the only thing the brothers are grateful for these days is that they’re not Siamese twins.

Users of some public toilets in Sweden must send a text message and receive a code for payment before they can use the facility. Keying in the number is frustrating for a lot of people because it’s tough to remember 7s, 8s and 9s when you’re thinking about numbers 1 and 2.

Amazon has already sold out of The Beatles stereo and mono digitally remastered box sets set to be released on 9-9-09. People who couldn’t afford $259 for the stereo set or $299 for the mono are hoping Amazon will let them trade in their old Beatles LPs in a Cash for Clunkers program.

The founder of Cirque du Soleil announced he'll host a two-hour show from the International Space Station next month after he arrives as a space tourist. This will break Rush Limbaugh’s old record for the “highest” radio broadcast.

In Stockholm, Sweden, a man claims he’s stimulating his breasts with a pump in an attempt to produce milk from his own body. If masturbation makes you go blind, this must make you go deaf because he can’t hear his buddies calling him an idiot.

In Coventry, England, a couple invited family and friends over to celebrate their refrigerator's 50th birthday. The fridge still works, but they avoid using the freezer because there’s a couple of mysterious packages that have been in there for 50 years.