A female comedian wearing a Groucho mustache

South Carolina congressman Joe Wilson continues to apologize to those who were offended when he called President Obama a liar during his speech to Congress on health care reform. Today he apologized to members of the Liars Club, people who play liars poker and anyone whose pants have ever caught on fire.

Joe Wilson has become the new poster child for everything that’s wrong with the Republican Party. His office has been swamped with thousands of phone calls, half of them from Sarah Palin thanking him.

According to the latest polls, South Carolina congressman Joe Wilson is now less popular than used car salesmen, Michael Vick and the guy who decided to continue running Billy Mays’ commercials.

President Obama has accepted the apology of Congressman Joe Wilson. He even invited Wilson over to the White House to have a beer with Pinocchio.

John Stossel is leaving ABC News and “20/20” for Fox, where he'll host a weekly show on Fox Business and host a series of specials for Fox News. Following a trend started by “American Idol,” ABC plans to replace Stossel with a female comedian wearing a Groucho mustache.

“American Idol” is replacing Paula Abdul with talk show host and comedian Ellen DeGeneres as the show’s fourth judge. Ellen got the job after promising to not break down and cry every time Randy called someone a “dawg.”

“American Idol” is replacing Paula Abdul with talk show host and comedian Ellen DeGeneres as the show’s fourth judge. Ellen says she’ll represent the voice of the shows fans, which means she’ll spend most of her time getting between the camera and Kara DioGuardi.

The preacher who hijacked a jet in Mexico City claims he did it because God told him he had to warn Mexicans of an earthquake coming on 09/09/09. If that wasn’t bad enough, he’s in trouble with God because he pointed to the sky as he was being arrested and yelled, “You lie!”

Oprah Winfrey says she wants to interview Jaycee Dugard, the woman who escaped after being kidnapped 18 years ago. If she does, audience members that day will each be given an 18-year-old car.

Police in Turkey stormed an Istanbul villa and rescued to nine captive women who thought they were being filmed in their bathing suits for a television reality show. The women got suspicious when they noticed the host filling their hot tub by drooling in it.

Paul McCartney says he hasn't played "The Beatles: Rock Band," the new video game featuring Beatles music. Ringo says he wants to play it but can’t figure out where to put his quarter in.

In a trademark dispute, McDonald's has forced a restaurant in Toronto to change its name from McFalafel. The owner plans to change the name to “Did You know His Real Name Is Ronald Osama McDonald?”

The National Football League has decided to allow fans whose local teams' games are blacked out because they haven’t sold out to watch a delayed broadcast online. This is great news for Detroit Lions fans who can fast-forward through the boring parts and just watch the cheerleaders.