Like reprimanding a congressman

According to a new study reported in the journal Child Development, spanking 1-year-old children leads to more aggressive behavior and less sophisticated cognitive development in the next two years. Kind of like reprimanding a congressman.

Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced that the company became "cash-flow positive" during the second quarter and has 300 million users worldwide. I can’t believe I didn’t see one tweet on this story.

During an interview, former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer said that by not reforming Wall Street now, we are “sowing the seeds of a future crisis.” No, wait, that’s what he said about not throwing away his little black book.

A team of U.S. astronomers used one of the world's most advanced new telescopic instruments to take pictures of the black hole in the middle of the Milky Way galaxy. Glenn Beck wants to know when our tax dollars will be spent on looking at white holes.

Bob Dylan will premiere some of his new paintings at an exhibition at the National Gallery of Denmark next year. They’ll be easy to spot because they’re fuzzy and make no sense.

A judge in Barcelona, Spain, ruled that swearing at your boss is not grounds for dismissal. Here’s an eerie coincidence … the name of the Spanish man who swore at his boss was José Wilson.

Astronomers have discovered the first planet outside of our solar system that is solid and not a ball of gas. There goes Rush Limbaugh’s dream of having a planet named after him.

Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb has a cracked rib. McNabb is expected to recover from the injury quickly because his doctor wrapped his chest in a bandage featuring a photo of Michael Vick.

Two-time Olympic beach volleyball gold medalist Misty May-Treanor, who injured her Achilles’ tendon on “Dancing With The Stars,” is getting back together with her teammate Kerri Walsh for a tournament. Walsh is a little worried about May-Traynor getting hurt again since she’ll be the only person at the event watching Misty’s ankle.

A Colorado couple getting married in Vancouver, British Columbia, has hired a ventriloquist's dummy to perform the ceremony. All of the dummy’s moves will be controlled by a female ventriloquist, giving the groom a good look at what his future holds.

Sean Penn, not yet divorced from Robin Wright, has been spotted in New York with Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Jessica White. At the next meeting with Robin’s lawyer to discuss the divorce settlement, Sean is going to be a dead man weeping.

Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay says he injured his foot rehearsing for “Dancing with the Stars.” Tom still isn’t used to having both feet on the ground instead of one in his mouth.

ACORN has ordered an independent investigation of two employees who were caught on camera appearing to advise a couple posing as a prostitute and pimp to lie about the woman's profession. The employees also got a thank-you note from the Republican National Committee for the good idea.