Tuesday, September 14, 2010

First you need to give some Czechs some checks

A New York City public information campaign promotes the benefits of breastfeeding by pointing out that it burns 500 calories a day. There’s more about this breastfeeding weight loss program in a new book, “The Titikin Diet.”

It looks like Jennifer Lopez has signed a $12 million contract to be a judge on “American Idol.” Steven Tyler will settle for less as long as there’s a big mattress behind the judges’ stand in case he falls off.

Two senators from Thailand fought each other in a boxing ring set up outside parliament in Bangkok to promote Thai kickboxing. Maybe we can get Republican senators to promote the Second Amendment by setting up dueling matches in front of Congress.

George Michael was sentenced to eight weeks in jail for driving under the influence of drugs. He blamed it on his fear of traffic, or drugging under the influence of driving.

President Obama gave his second back-to-school pep talk with a lot less protests from conservatives than the first one had. The biggest complaint came from teachers who were hoping he’d speak longer so they could sneak out and look for a better job.

Police in North Dakota arrested a woman who allegedly walked into a drugstore wearing only a thong, pasties, a small towel and whipped cream. She claimed she was a free thinker and thought the sign said “Off-the-Walgreens.”

Members of a church in Anaheim, California, are celebrating its first anniversary by getting tattoos of the red-heart church logo. The pastor will then inspect the location of the tattoo to determine if you paid attention during his sermons.

The Swedish Armed Forces disciplined two non-commissioned officers for dressing in their underwear on duty and flying a flag with a penis on it. The men were recruited under a special program in the Swedish military called “Don’t ask, we’re gay.”

The American woman released by Iran after more than a year in prison said she was grateful to Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for her freedom. Then she boarded a plane and showed how she really felt in every airsick she could find.

Authorities in the Czech Republic have banned Google from taking pictures for its “Street View” mapping feature. If Google had googled “doing business in the Czech Republic,” they would have found out that first you need to give some Czechs some checks.

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