Thursday, September 9, 2010

Sealy Posteriorpedic

Romania's Senate rejected a proposal to tax witches and fortune tellers and hold them liable for wrong predictions. However, they increased the income tax on small men with hard names who can spin flax into gold.

Susan Boyle left “America’s Got Talent” crying after Lou Reed refused to give her permission to sing one of his songs, “Perfect Day.” Maybe she shouldn’t have mentioned that she was honoring him by wearing velvet underpants.

The Great Moscow Circus's show featuring the swallowing and regurgitation of a live goldfish has been banned in Australia because it’s cruel to the fish. Not to mention to the vendors selling cod sandwiches.

An Italian mattress company has unveiled a love mattress with heavy-duty springs and special straps for couples to hang on to when in the throes of passion. For those into more kinky positions, try the Sealy Posteriorpedic.

Officials in Bibb County, Georgia, say they’ll consider changing the name of a street called Lustful Court if the residents sign a petition. The name discourages married couples from buying a house there because it’s a dead end.

Las Vegas police arrested a man who walked into a casino with a defibrillator strapped to his chest, claiming it was a bomb. It took the cops a while to find him among the hundreds of other casino patrons wearing defibrillators, oxygen tanks and pacemaker battery packs.

Britney Spears is denying claims by a bodyguard 's accusations that she repeatedly exposed herself to him and made other unwanted sexual advances. Like begging, pleading and piles of cash.

According to a new study, women are most attracted to male dancers who have big, flamboyant moves. Especially if they wear tight pants that show how their big flamboyant can move.

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady made it to practice after walking away unhurt from a two-car accident. The other driver was cited for reckless driving, failing to yield and roughing the passer.

President Barack Obama says his chief of staff Rahm Emanuel would be a terrific Chicago mayor. However, he won’t be allowed to campaign for dead voters in Chicago until he first gets them to vote in the midterm elections.

A North Carolina restaurant owner says a new sign reading “Screaming children will not be tolerated” has increased his business. Some angry parents want him to put in a screaming children section, but there’s no room for a drive-through window.

According to a new study, loneliness can cause heart disease, high blood pressure, insomnia and other medical conditions. What’s worse, lonely people refuse to see any physician other than Doctor McCoy and his tricorder.

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