A 50-year-old businessman in Italy missed his ex-girlfriend so much after she dumped him that he paid over $18,000 to have a sex doll made in her image. Tiger Woods considered this but decided he didn’t want his house to look like a female version of the terracotta army.
The day after President Obama declared an end to combat in Iraq, Halliburton announced it was awarded a multi-million dollar contract to start work at the Zubair oil field in Iraq. When he heard the news, Dick Cheney had no one to celebrate with so he shot himself in the face.
A 12-acre California wildfire was started when a golfer trying to hit a ball out of the rough struck his club against a rock and the spark ignited dry grass. He won’t face charges for the fire but the PGA ruled he should have taken a penalty stroke for dropping his flaming ball in a water hazard.
A hiker in Washington state accidentally shot himself in the rear end when he moved his handgun from its holster to his back pocket. The shooting was cheered by fellow hikers who were tired of hearing him sing “The Happy Wanderer.”
An insurance investigator in northeast Arkansas found that a house fire that did $20,000 in damages was caused by the heat of dead plants decomposing in a plastic flowerpot. Unfortunately, their policy was with State Farm, not State Fern.
Conan O'Brien has decided to name his new TBS talk show “Conan.” Internally at TBS, it’s called NAOS – Not Another Old Sitcom.
Proctor & Gamble has taken out a $1 million insurance policy on the hair of its most famous Head & Shoulders spokesperson - Pittsburgh Steelers strong safety Troy Polamalu. If anything happens to Polamalu’s hair during a game, the opposing team will be given a 20-yard penalty and dandruff.
The United States team defeated Iran 88-51 in the world basketball championship. U.S. players say the Iranians called them names during the game because they hate our free throws.
In New Jersey, a female driver escaped injury when her car caught fire after she tried and failed to flick a still-burning cigarette out her window. She plans to sue Toyota because the fire was caused by sudden unexpected incineration.
On September 1, stores in the Philippines put up holiday decorations to start the world's longest Christmas season. In keeping with her annual tradition, Imelda Marcos hung 10,000 stockings on her fireplace.
No comments:
Post a Comment