At least the bulge wasn’t octuplets

Michelle Obama will appear with Oprah Winfrey on the cover of “O,” marking the first time Oprah has shared the magazine cover with anyone. This also marks the first time any American First Lady publicly talked about getting an “O.”

The nation's unemployment rate increased to 8.1 percent in February, the highest since late 1983. That’s the good news. The bad news is, Rush Limbaugh still has a job.

Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton met in Geneva with her Russian counterpart, Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov. The meeting with smoothly once she promised that President Obama would not be giving nicknames to Russian leaders.

New Jersey State Police are using underwater robots to search for and retrieve cars and trucks that have been dumped into the lower Hackensack River. The cops wouldn’t reveal who paid for the robots other than to say that they’ve been programmed to ignore black Lincolns.

Police in Dunleith, Delaware, arrested a 31-year-old pregnant woman who had 73 bags of heroin hidden in the waistband of her pants. Her lawyer is hoping to get the judge to dismiss the charges because at least the bulge wasn’t octuplets.

The Japanese government is considering plans to put a robot on the moon by 2020 and an astronaut by 2030. The Japanese won’t be the first to put a man on the moon, but they’ll be the first to get him there in a hybrid.

A new French study found that excess belly fat can impair lung function and make breathing difficult. That could explain why Santa Claus has replaced Dasher and Dancer with CPR and Respirator.

Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer is now a commercial real estate investor and has bought an office building in Washington just a block from the Mayflower Hotel where he met with prostitutes. Leave it to Spitzer to locate within walking distance of his hookers now that the state isn’t paying for his plane fare.

According to a report in the journal Science, researchers have traced the lineage of the earliest known domestic horses to Kazakhstan. The key to the discovery was a piece of torn-up papyrus that turned out to be a losing ticket from the Kazakhstan Derby.

In Saudi Arabia, a young woman who crashed her car into another vehicle was arrested by police because women drivers are banned in that country. She’ll be charged with DWII – Driving While Ignoring Islam.