Their combined shouting may cause avalanches

In an interview in O Magazine, Oprah Winfrey asked First Lady Michelle Obama about rumors that she has a “baby bump,” which Mrs. Obama denied. In a related story, President Obama instructed Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner to add Oprah to the 90% tax list.

A New Jersey lawmaker wants the federal ban on sports betting in 46 states overturned to help business at Atlantic City casinos. Have you seen the gamblers at Atlantic City casinos? The only sports they might be interested in betting on are the Senior Olympics.

The National Association of Realtors reports that sales of existing homes rose unexpectedly from January to February. Unfortunately, half of the sales were to banks using bailout money to buy houses of cards.

“Today” show co-host Matt Lauer had surgery on the shoulder he separated when he fell off his bike trying to avoid a deer. When he gets back, Matt’s first edition of “Where In The World Is Matt Lauer?” is expected to be from a deer sausage plant.

India’s Tata Motors will pick 100,000 names from a hat to pick the first owners of the Nano, the world’s cheapest car at $2,000. Watch for people experienced in driving on Indian roads to sell their winning tickets on eBay once they see how small the Nano is compared a cow.

NASA has delayed tests of the International Space Station's urine recycler after problems developed with the centrifuge-like device. While they don’t have concrete proof, NASA suspects one of the Russian cosmonauts tried to use it to make vodka margaritas.

Billionaire Charles Simonyi, a Microsoft co-founder, paid $35 million to become the world’s first two-time space tourist. He’s spent a total of $60 million to be out in space, which is still less than the total Willie Nelson has spent to be spaced out.

Alaska's Mount Redoubt volcano erupted five times in one night, sending ashes more than 9 miles into the air. Alaska’s governor Sarah Palin immediately blamed it on President Obama, saying his constant basketball dribbling has shifted the Earth’s tectonic plates.

A group of New Jersey students are pushing for the tomato, which is not officially a vegetable, to be the official state vegetable. While the tomato is not a major New Jersey crop, more are thrown there than in any other state.

Comedienne Roseanne Barr is working with a writer from “Arrested Development” to develop a new family sitcom with her as the mother. I think it’s called “Arrested Career.”

Former Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean is now a regular contributor for the business news network CNBC. Dean is not allowed to appear at the same time as Jim Cramer because experts warn that their combined shouting may cause avalanches.

President Obama has been meeting secretly with former Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev to discuss ways to “press the reset button” on ties with Russia. Gorbachev likes hanging around with Obama just for the chance to hear people yelling “You Socialist!” again.

The Vatican is planning to call a boycott of the new film "Angels & Demons," the follow-up to "The Da Vinci Code." Pope Benedict says that Catholics seeing the movie must go to confession and then perform a penance of seeing “The Bells of St. Mary’s” five times.