Thursday, February 12, 2009

No More Than Five Refrigerator Magnets

I’m not sure Brett Farve is serious about retiring. He’s been overheard having career conversations with the Eagles, the Rolling Stones and Barbra Streisand.

Police in southwest Florida arrested a man they say let his 8-year-old son drive his van for a “bonding moment.” It worked because the man is now out on bond … for the moment.

A Toronto mosque is offering Canada's first “12-step extremist detox program” to bring young Muslims back to mainstream Islam and away from violence. I think it’s called Allah-coholics Anonymous.

Nicollette Sheridan's publicist says the actress will leave her role as Edie Britt on “Desperate Housewives” at the end of this season. Expect to see her soon on “Dancing With The People Who Were Once Engaged To Stars.”

If you want to avoid that fishy burp from eating fish oil supplements, the Mayo Clinic Health Letter advises freezing the capsules before swallowing them. And to avoid potential lawsuits, the Health Letter warns that this won’t work if the fish oil is still inside a large frozen cod.

A study in Ireland found that Irish boys are on the average 9.1 inches taller and 65 percent heavier than Irish boys were 60 years ago. That explains a popular new song on the Emerald Isle: “When Irish Eyes Are Bigger Thant Their Stomachs.”

About 400 liquor industry workers and executives dumped bourbon on the Kentucky state capitol steps in Frankfort to protest taxes. The workers were asked to come back again the next time it snowed after the steps were licked clean by fans of bourbon Slurpees.

Queen Elizabeth II has revamped the royal website and now allows her subjects to apply online for jobs at the palace. The system crashed the first time she brought it up when it got over a million applications for her job from Prince Charles.

The Los Alamos nuclear weapons laboratory in New Mexico admits that it is missing 67 computers, including 13 that were lost or stolen in the past year. Officials claim no classified information was on the PCs, but they warn the people who stole them to wear lead gloves and ultraviolet glasses when downloading porn.

President Barack Obama may going a little overboard with his affection for all things Lincoln. On Lincoln’s birthday, Michelle found him in the Lincoln bedroom gluing a fake beard on an inflatable doll left over from the Clinton administration.

Space officials in Russia and at NASA are tracking hundreds of pieces of debris that were spewed into space when a U.S. satellite collided with a defunct Russian military satellite. No one on the ground is in any danger, although NASA cautions that for the next few months you should limit your refrigerator to no more than five magnets.

Netflix announced it now has more than 10 million subscribers. That’s the biggest milestone the company has passed since earlier this year when the number of Pauly Shore movie rentals topped ten.

The Department of Agriculture has confirmed that Africanized honey bees have been found for the first time in Utah, the Beehive State. The killer bees are expected to spread fast in Utah because every male can have multiple queen bees.

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